[Neurons] 2022 Neurons #34 WHAT ABOUT NASTY ATTITUDES?

[Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2022 Neurons #34

August 22, 2022

Super-charging Your Attitude #10

 

WHAT ABOUT NASTY ATTITUDES?

 

I was just about to end this series when I got a question from a reader,
"What about the nasty attitudes?"  In his email, he mentioned
several-snobbishness, hostility, sarcasm, self-righteousness, etc.  Then
upon reflecting about the unpleasant and even the nasty attitudes, I
realized that there really is a whole list of attitudes that are either
unbecoming of a human being, downright ugly, or even toxic and
dysfunctional.  What attitudes sabotage a person's highest meanings and best
performances?  Do any of these ring a bell or describe an attitude that you
might fall into or take on-to your detriment?

Arrogance                                 Know-it-all         Sarcastic
hostility   Prideful

                                                    Competitive
Grumpy              Obsessive-compulsive   Self-Pity

                                                    Fearful/ paranoid
Snobbish            Snowflake                        Timid, Shy

                                                    Self-Righteous
Never wrong     Unapologetic                   Superiority

                                                    Over-bearing
Resentment       Irresponsibility           Revengeful

                                                    Victim
Dishonesty         Deceptive                         Unfriendly

                                                    Maliciousness
Cynicism             Greed                           Viciousness

 

To answer the question, "What about them?" a good beginning place is to
recognize where they come from.  Here the answer is simple-living in a
negative emotion or thought.  When you live in a negative emotion (e.g.,
anger, fear, sadness, guilt, shame, etc.), you essentially habituate that
emotion, and all the thoughts that come along with it, so that it becomes
your automatic and default program.  In that way your emotion becomes your
mood.  And as a mood, it is the attitude that you take in your mind, your
body, your emotions, etc.-it becomes an attitude.

A snobbish, supercilious attitude comes from thinking you are better than
others, from looking down on them, a haughty and disdaining feeling about
others, feeling contempt for them, despising them, thinking that by pushing
them down you push yourself up.

A know-it-all attitude comes from the need to be right, the hatred of being
wrong, the over-valuing of knowledge, competing with others as if that makes
you better than them. 

A sarcastic attitude comes from repressed anger that you take out on others,
using humor to put others down explicitly or implicitly.

An obsessive-compulsive attitude arises from the need to be in control, a
fear of being out-of-control, a perfectionist need to make everything just
right.

A timidity, fearful attitude comes from the lack of confidence in self to
handle situations, an over-emphasis on the power and control of others or
things.

A shy attitude comes from fear of being seen, of wanting to hide, a fear of
being inadequate, a rejection of embarrassment.

A self-pity attitude comes from thinking that one is a victim, from feeling
that you get no breaks, that the world is against you.

A grumpy attitude comes from expecting or demanding that everything goes
your way, from a lack of appreciation for what you do have, from not
counting your blessings.

 

If you give yourself to the thoughts and emotions that correspond to any of
these nasty attitudes, then, and lo and behold, eventually you will find
that they have habituated and now they are your automatic thinking-feeling
patterns.  What began as just a thought, just a feeling, you have turned
into a perpetuated mood.  You have meta-stated yourself with them so that
now they operate as your general frame of mind, to wit, your attitude.

 

In other words, you have violated one of the most basic principles in
Meta-States.  You have turned your mental and emotional generates against
yourself.  No wonder if feels like an uncontrollable monster or dragon.  No
wonder the attitude has you instead of you having the attitude.

 

What is a person to do?  Simple.  Reverse the construction of the nasty
attitude.  Stop turning the thought or emotion against yourself, stop
setting it as your frame of reference and frame of mind.  And as you do
that, embrace the thought or feeling that you are experiencing as your
thought and feeling about something at that moment.  Paradoxically, by
embracing it you free yourself from its domination and move to a choice
point where you can now run an ecology check.

"Is this good for me?"  "Will this serve me as a person or in my
relationships?"  "Will this support my health and well-being?" 

 

If the answer is no, then you are in a position to make a creative and
transformative choice.  You can opt for a better thought and a better
emotion that will improve the quality of your life and relationships.  "What
attitude would you prefer to have?" 

 

Now perhaps once upon a time, in a given situation with a given person or
group, the thoughts-and-feelings that you entertained were appropriate.
Perhaps.  But are they any longer?  The damage is in perpetuating a negative
awareness instead of embracing and using it and then releasing it.  So, if
you have perpetuated a nasty attitude and it is definitely getting in your
way of unleashing your potentials-now is a great time to release it.  

 

 




L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

ISNS Executive Director

P.O. Box 8

Clifton Colorado 81520 USA

(970) 523-7877

drhall at acsol.net  



 

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