[Neurons] 2022 Neurons #35 GETTING THE NLP ATTITUDE

Sun Aug 28 22:38:29 EDT 2022

From: L. Michael Hall

2022 Neurons #35

August 29, 2022

Super-charging Your Attitude #11

GETTING THE NLP ATTITUDE

Richard Bandler once defined NLP as an attitude.  "NLP is an attitude,
backed up by a methodology that leaves behind it a trail of techniques"  Now
if that is true, and I think it is, then what is the NLP attitude?  Do you
have it?  Many, if not a great many, people trained in NLP do not have the
NLP attitude.  What explains that?  There is in my opinion an understandable
reason why that is the case.

Let's start with the presuppositions of NLP and consider what they imply in
terms of attitude.  If X is a basic premise of NLP, what can we infer would
be the central attitudes which correspond to that premise?  In the following
I put the attitudes in italics.

              There is no failure, only information that informs us of how
to improve-curiosity, persistence.

The map is not the territory, only symbolic of it -fascination, exploration,
skepticism.

              The meaning of your communication is the response you get-
openness, wanting feedback.          Mind and body are part of the same
system -synergism, systems thinking.

              Every person operates from his model of the world-respect,
seek understanding, compassion. 

Person and behavior are different phenomenon- respect of persons, more than
behaviors.

              Behind every behavior is a positive intention- honor persons,
optimism, look for the positive.

              "Lose your mind and come to your senses" (Perls) -sensory
awareness, appreciation.

              If what you're doing isn't working, do something different-
flexibility, freedom of choice.

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood" (Bandler)- creativity,
ecological thinking

In learning NLP in the 1980s I trained with one of the founders (Bandler),
but as I got to know him, one thing I knew was that whatever the secret of
NLP is-it did not lie in the persons who put it together.  Bandler's life
was a mess! (See NLP Secrets: Untold Stories, 2019).  So I looked deeper.  I
looked inside the model for its working premises.  Guess what I found.  I
found the spirit that lead to the discoveries and creation of NLP.
Accordingly, when I wrote the master practitioner book, I titled it, The
Spirit of NLP (1996).  

So what is the NLP spirit that brought it about and that continues today to
make it work?

1) Learning.  It's an attitude that there is always so much more to learn.
It's an attitude of know-nothing in order to avoid our own biases and
stereotypes.

2) Openness.  It is an openness to what I don't know, to the feedback I get
even that I may not want or understand, and more openness to change in a
process world.    

3) Curiosity.  It's an attitude of curiously exploring everything.  An
attitude of asking, "What else is there?  What am I missing?  What allows
this to be as a possibility?  What else can I use this for?

4) Questioning.  It's an attitude of boldly questioning everything, and then
asking meta-questions of those answers.  It is questioning with the
Meta-Model to get precision and specificity.

5) Flexibility.  It's an attitude of being willing to change whatever is no
longer working and adopt something new and different. 

6) Persisting.  It's an attitude of never giving up, always looking for a
way to make things happen, a "can do" attitude of determination and a bit of
stubbornness. 

7) Passion.  It's an attitude of passion to live life fully, to be fully
present in the here-and-now.  It's a passionate attitude about connecting to
others, making a difference, and adding quality to whatever you're doing.
It's an attitude of adding more ecstasy to life, to relating, and to being
the best version of yourself. 

8) Playful.  It's an attitude of being playful, experiencing more fun in
whatever you are engaged in, especially learning and skill development.
It's the attitude that getting there is where there is the most fun.  It's
the lighten up attitude, stop taking yourself or words so seriously. Fs

9) Skepticism.  It's an attitude of suspecting that what you see is not all
there is, that there is more and you have to hunt for it.  "What else lies
out there to discover?"  "What else lies in this experience that I can use?"
It's an attitude of skepticism about words knowing that "the map is not the
territory." 

10) Creativity.  It's an attitude of creating higher quality products,
services, and information. An attitude of inventiveness, "How can I make
this better?"

Now, back to the question I the first paragraph.  Why do so many people
trained in NLP do not have the spirit of NLP?  Here are some suggestions:

           They are trained exclusively in the techniques, the content and
miss the attitude.

           The techniques are offered as final products rather than
specific historical discoveries and so are open to updating, correcting, and
even being made redundant.

           The technique are treated as "real" rather than one way to map a
resolution.

           Those training the techniques do not themselves have the spirit
of NLP.  So the attitude is not demonstrated.

The problem however is deeper and more pervasive than just that many NLP
people do not have the right attitude.  What's deeper is that so many of the
techniques as processes will not work without the right attitude.  Using
them as if a formula out of a cookbook will seldom get the results that
someone with the right attitude, even those less skilled, will get.

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

ISNS Executive Director

P.O. Box 8

Clifton Colorado 81520 USA

(970) 523-7877

meta at acsol.net 

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