[Neurons] 2015 "Neurons" Meta Reflections #39
L. Michael Hall
meta at acsol.net
Mon Sep 14 10:18:28 EDT 2015
From: L. Michael Hall
Meta Reflections #39
September 14 , 2015
Creating Response-Able Persons #5
FINDING RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE
Responsibility is a meta-state. It is comprised of a primary state as you
engage in doing or experiencing something in the world. Then to that
primary state of engagement, you layer onto it a few key
variables-awareness, ownership, acceptance, appreciation, etc. Then all
together these come together to generate a strong personal sense of both the
ability and the sense of obligation to respond. When awareness of your
fundamental powers plus a sense of ownership come together it gives birth to
the meta-state of responsibility.
About responsibility, lots of people wonder, "How can I be a more
responsible person?" "How can I help my employees take on more
responsibility?" When I first got into real estate as a means for wealth
creation, I asked myself, "How can I find renters who will be responsible
and act responsibly?" Parents ask these questions about their children and
their parenting, "How can I raise my children to grow up to be responsible
persons and manage their opportunities, talents, etc. well?"
When a person is responsible, he or she is empowered to act on his or her
abilities in a way that fits for the activities of life: working, relating,
contributing, enjoying, growing, learning, etc. In this empowerment, the
person is proactive in that he takes the initiative. She doesn't wait
around until she just has to act, she thinks ahead about what needs to be
done (proactive) and then initiates a response (takes the initiative).
These are expressions of being a responsible person.
Opposite to being and living responsibly is being reactive, playing helpless
like a victim and so blaming and accusing, and/or being passive and letting
opportunities and life pass one by without stepping up to take action. The
opposite may also include being paralyzed by fear, dread, anxiety or some
other emotion. Then instead of acting responsibly, one shuts down and/or
gives in to discouragement, depression, and "just getting by." That's the
weak side of things. The strong side is being irresponsible. That is,
being hostile and destructive. This person fails to appreciate the value of
things and is positively irresponsible.
In not being responsible then, there are numerous alternatives. On a
continuum there is sitting passively and doing nothing and letting things
get messed up by inattention and neglect. I've seen people do that in the
houses which I rent- things go bad and things get messed up, not because
someone has thrown things around the house, but because they ignored things
that needed attention and let them go until. Then the problem grew and grew
until it was a major disaster. Others are not being responsible because
the actions they are taking are the wrong ones. They destroy the very
things that are needed in their lives. I once saw the end result of a young
artist who got into a negative state and in that state tore up and burned a
decade of his art work. Now it was all gone.
That's the dark side of responsibility- when it goes wrong, when it becomes
irresponsibility. The bright side of responsibility is proactivity and
initiative. Here the person knows and understands the responses that she
can do, accepts the obligation to self and to others to handle those
responses in a way that enhances one's life over the long-run. This person
operates from a sense of intentionality and choice. He sets high level
intentions and then expands his awareness to understand his range of
choices. He creates a set of practices (discipline) that accords with the
exercise of his talents and skills so that it develops, expands, and manages
them well.
As a responsible person, she will persist in that set of practices,
recognize them as a discipline, and willingly organize her life around them.
Then, when there is a set-back or disappointment and she is knocked down,
she gets up again. She "bounces back" and this resilience itself is part of
her responsible actions that keeps her on course and able to make great
things happen in her life over the long-run.
>From this description we can see that there is a sense of will on the part
of the responsible person, they intend and attend ("will") want they want
and then follow-up with a set of practices (a discipline) that allows them
to turn it into life-style. By contrast, the not-responsible person is
either lacking will (energy, focus, interest, passive) and/or too willful
(stubborn, insistent on his way, defiant, hostile, destructive).
In terms of Meta-Programs, this maps the continuum between un-responsible
(irresponsible) to responsible and then over-responsible. Bob Bodenhamer
and I put that in the book on Meta-Programs, Figuring Out People, as one of
the semantic meta-programs that governs a person's perceptual sorting and
responding. My original research for this was stimulated by my need to find
"responsible" people to rent my properties to. After having some
not-so-pleasant experiences with some irresponsible persons, I wanted to
figure out how to find responsible people. And I knew that advertizing,
"Responsible persons wanted for a 4-bedroom home..." would not do it.
The continuum of how people handle their capacity for responding gave me the
area to go find the clues which I needed. Now I could look at several areas
of their lives to see if they responsibly handled those areas and if so, was
this style habitual and in character for them. So today I ask and sometimes
check out how they treat their car, their dog or cat, how they handle a
conflict and a mis-communication, etc. I check on whether they are on the
passive side or the aggressive side in terms of using their response-powers.
In conversation with them, I look for situations where something didn't go
well, was a set back, something was a mistake and then use that to
understand the person's style of responding.
We need responsible people if we are going to have a good world- a good
home, a good business, a healthy community, etc. So search for and helping
to create responsible people lies at the heart of leadership at all levels.
To your success in this!
L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
Neuro-Semantics Executive Director
Neuro-Semantics International
P.O. Box 8
Clifton, CO. 81520 USA
1 970-523-7877
Dr. Hall's email:
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