[Neurons] 2024 Neurons #12 META-STATING EMOTIONS

Sun Mar 10 18:44:28 EDT 2024

From: L. Michael Hall

2024 Neurons #12

March 11, 2024

Emotional Intelligence Series #12

Managing Your Emotions IV

META-STATING

YOUR EMOTIONS

In the art we have identified three steps:

              1) Accept the emotion as an emotion.

              2) Explore to understand the emotion in your experience. 

              3) Let the emotion do its emotional work inside you. 

4) Meta-State the Emotion.

It is only in Neuro-Semantics that we distinguish primary from secondary
emotions.  This is not a distinction that you will find in NLP or elsewhere.
And the reason is simple: until you know about Meta-States and about
self-reflexive consciousness, you will not know how to distinguish the basic
primary emotions (of which there are only a few, 8 to 15) from the secondary
(or meta) emotions (of which there are thousands).

For developing your ability to manage your emotions, you need to know that
the first emotion is not near as important or critical as the second
emotion.  Given that all of the primary emotions are just emotions, and
perfectly acceptable as emotions, their quality, ecology, and usefulness
depends entirely on the thought or emotion that you apply to them.
Basically, if you bring a negative thought or emotion to any primary
emotion, you create self-attack.  If you bring a positive thought or emotion
to it, you create a new quality (and category). 

           Accept anger, fear, sadness, love, joy, peace, playfulness,
curiosity, etc.

           Reject (hate, fear) anger, fear, sadness, love, joy, peace,
playfulness, curiosity, etc.

           Shame yourself for feeling sexual, playful, curious, anxious,
loving, etc.

           Respect of persons when feeling angry, anxious, hate, etc. 

           Wonder and curiosity to inferiority, confusion, embarrassment,
etc.

Every second thought/emotion sets the frame for the first one, establishes
the classification, and thereby establishes the quality of the emotion.  If
you fear your anger, your anger is now in the category of "fearful things."
If you meta-state your anger with calmness, you have calm anger.  With
respect, your anger is in the class of "respectful things."  In other words,
you qualify your emotion with the second emotion/thought.  this reveals the
importance of meta-stating.

The grand insight that arises from this is that if the quality of your
emotions and your emotional life is less than you want it to be- spend some
time meta-stating your emotions with the set of resourceful emotions that
you want.   For almost all of the negative emotions, if you meta-state them
with calmness, thoughtfulness, acceptance, respect, curiosity, etc., you
will significantly upgrade the quality of your life.  Try it.  One by one,
take these highly resourceful states and apply them to your anger, fear,
sadness, etc.  It will transform your life!

In this meta-stating you are consciously using your self-reflexive
consciousness to create a set of categories (or classes) that will now
become established meta-frames in your Meta Place.  Imagine that you do it
with acceptance.  Eventually, by repeating the acceptance state over and
over, you will be establishing acceptance as your frame-of-mind.  Do that
with curiosity.  Do that with respect.  Do that with love, compassion,
kindness, etc.

Now to do this, you do not need to learn any new process or technique.
That's because you have already been doing lots of meta-stating and you've
been doing it all your life.  Anytime you apply a thought or emotion to a
previous thought or emotion, you are meta-stating.  If you have come to fear
your anger, lo and behold, that's the meta-state structure you created.  If
you have shamed yourself for feeling sensual or sexual, that's the
meta-state you generated.

In fact, you cannot not meta-state yourself.  The only question is how are
you, and have you been, meta-stating yourself?  More than likely, most of
your life you have not even been aware of this happening.  And most of your
life, you have allowed others to meta-state your states.  You felt anger or
fear or sadness or something, and someone responded to you, "You shouldn't
feel that!  Shame on you!"  Or, "What's wrong with you?  Feeling that is
disrespectful!"  In that way, your family, friends, teachers, etc. have been
inter-personally meta-stating you for years.

But now the jig is up.  Since you can't change what you're not aware of,
your awareness now gives you choice.  Now you can see and detect their
inter-personal meta-stating, and with awareness, you now have choice.  You
can accept it or not.  You can question it and decide to meta-state yourself
with a better choice. 

THERE'S A NEW BOOK!

Have you seen the brand New Book from Neuro-Semantics Publications---
Thinking for Humans (2024)?   It is now available!

If you want to learn how to become an excellent thinker --- to think
clearly, precisely, creatively, critically, and lovingly, this is the book
for you. 

We have a special deal on the book right now - write me at meta at acsol.net
for that deal.  This book would make a great gift!   

For International mailing: If 3 of you order together, you can reduce the
international postal cost to $13. Write to me if you're interested,
meta at acsol.net

See our new page on the Website:                                 

http://www.neurosemantics.com/thinking-for-humans/

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Executive Director, ISNS

738 Beaver Lodge

Grand Jct., CO. 81505 USA

meta at acsol.net

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