[Neurons] 2017 Neurons #51 Power Conversations

Mon Nov 13 10:24:24 EST 2017

From: L. Michael Hall

2017 Neurons #51

Nov. 13, 2017

Conversations #5

POWER CONVERSATIONS

Like sex, money, and religion- power is both highly desired and greatly
feared and even more, difficult to talk about.  Yet we must.  Power is
everywhere in life, ever-present, and inescapable.  But how can we have a
decent conversation about it?  That's a problem most of us have.  And that
problem is amplified by the fact that power is highly misunderstood,
shrouded in mystery, and challenging to stay calm about in a conversation.
In spite of all of this, we need to learn how to have an open, respectful,
and thoughtful conversation about it.

At the simplest level of power is capacity- "the ability to do."  That's
what the word means.  Check any dictionary, power means "to do."  If you can
do something, you have power.  If you can read, you have the power to read.
If you can speak, cook, drive a car, fix a computer- you have these powers.
And if power is capacity, then your power can be small or great or somewhere
in-between depending on the size of your capacity.  Power can also grow and
develop or it can weaken and diminish.  It hardly ever stays the same.  As a
capacity, you could even measure it.  After all, its expressions shows up in
the real world of tangible things.

All of that speaks about power individually.  It speaks about your assets
and resources- these are aspects of power.  As a capacity, power is a
strength you have to do something and an energy you can expend in doing that
thing.  Further, it arises from your four innate powers- your ability to
think, emote, speak, and act.  These ways of responding gives you four
dimensions of power- mental powers, emotional powers, linguistic powers, and
behavioral powers. [I wrote an entire chapter on this in book, The Matrix
Model.] 

Then there is your social powers.  This refers to your with others- your
capacities for influencing other people- influencing their thoughts,
emotions, speech, and actions.  Interpersonally you have the power to some
degree and, surprisingly, it depends on how well you serve others.  Dacher
Keltner, in The Power Paradox (2016), says that "Power is actually about
making a difference in the world."  And you and I do that by stirring others
in our social network by improving the greater good of the groups of people
that we relate to.  We make a difference in the world by seek "the greaer
good."  All of this actually speaks to the inherent ethics of power, well,
true power and not the false abreactions of power "over" others.  Power is
inherently with others. 

"Enduring power hinges on doing simple things that are good for others."
(Keltner, p. 35)

              "Power is the ability to stir others to collaborative action."
Hannah Arendt 

Because power is part of every interaction due to our capacity to influence
each other, power is a social dynamic and therefore you can find it in every
group.  Here's another strange factor about this kind of power -social
power- is not inside the individual.  So where is it?  It is in the
interaction itself.  It is across the social network.   Instead of thinking
that power is grabbed by a person and exercised over a group, Keltner says
we should think of power as given or bestowed by the group on the person or
persons who advances the greater good.  Similar to how it is with persuasion
and leadership- power is first earned by the person and then given by the
group.  That is, you earn power in the eyes and minds of others via
enthusiasm, care, focus, openness, calmness, empathy, strength, kindness,
and generosity.  In turn a group rewards a person with esteem (reputation
and status) and trust (position).

The social power of interpersonal relations not only involves influence and
control, not only reputation and status, it also leads to power
structures-who is given a position to make decisions and to allocate
resources.  We call this "politics" whether it is in the power structure of
a home or an international corporation.

When you bring up the subject of power, you are inviting a conversation
about relationships between people and capacities.  Do we select individuals
to do things based on their capacities?  That would be smart and practical.
Or do we select people based on who they know, what strings they can pull,
how much money or influence they have, etc.?  That's the dark side of
"playing politics."  That's how to create a dysfunctional group or
organization.

Giving position, status, reputation, responsibility, etc. to a person
without the capacity is a sure-fire way to create a sick organization.
Abraham Maslow once noted that we should give power to the persons who do
not want it and do not need it.  When a person wants it and worse, when a
person needs it, that person is very likely to not handle it well.  Then
they are not focused exclusively on the greater good or serving people.
Given that, how wise was Jesus to say that the person who would be
"greatest"among you should be the person who serves others the best.  And,
he who would be great, let him be the servant of all.  Wise words from a
long time ago.

Like the psychology of money and the psychology of food, people can want
power for the wrong reasons.  Psycho-eating drives people to be either
obsese or suffer anerexia because of their semantically loading of food.
Psycho-saving and psycho-spending also can suffer from trying to use money
for things it cannot fulfill.  The Beatles sang it: "Money can't buy you
love."  Psycho-powering is over-loading "power" and all of the expressions
of power with meanings that it cannot fulfill.  And that's a conversation
that we need to have with many people.

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

               Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

               Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

               1 970-523-7877 

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