[Neurons] 2017 Neurons #46 --- Un-Insult-Ability!

Sun Oct 8 20:00:35 EDT 2017

From: L. Michael Hall

2017 Neurons #46

October 9, 2017

THE SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE OF

UN-INSULT-ABILITY

When I first discovered the Meta-States Model, there were several patterns
that I had been working with using the basic strategy model that I
immediately re-modeled.  I realized the impact of the discovery of
self-reflexive consciousness in our higher, more complex, and systemic
states.  So this led to creating a dozen patterns very quickly. 

In fact, the second book on Meta-States was a book devoted mostly to the
dysfunctional states such as self-contempt, victimhood, reactivity, insult,
resentfulness, and internal conflict.  For each of these "dragon" states
(unresourceful states that undermine a person's self-actualization), I wrote
a chapter.  That's why  the book, Dragon Slaying (1995/ 2000) has the
following chapters- Self-Esteeming (ch. 10), Resilience (ch. 11),
Proactivity (ch. 12), Un-insult-Ability (ch. 13), Magnanimity and
Forgiveness (ch. 14), and Serenity (ch. 15).  Today many of the patterns for
these states are the basic patterns we use in the Meta-State trainings, APG
(Accessing Personal Genius) and LPG (Living Personal Genius).

What NLP provided about "taking criticism positively," which was really good
stuff, I took to a new level and called it - Un-Insult-Ability.  The idea is
that if you have the ability to take insult from things that people say and
do, then the way you construct those negative meanings and how you integrate
it into your neurology so that you feel bad really highlights your
meaning-making powers and your neurological embodying powers.  Given that,
what if we reversed it?  What if instead of taking insult, you did not take
insult?  Or even further, what if you developed your sense of self and your
identify so that you become un-insult-able?  Now would that be good? 

Now being un-insult-able does not mean that you're not paying attention, or
cutting off feedback, or being hard hearted.  It means that when you hear
words, see gestures, experience some event- you treat that information as
information.  Then because you do not bring it in and personalize it, you
keep it out there as information (stimuli) that you have to deal with as you
would with any problem or challenge.  And because you do not personalize it,
you don't feel threatened.  And because you don't feel threatened, you fee
safe.  You can now more calmly deal with that information.  This reminds me
of a quotation from Thomas Jefferson:

"Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always
cool and unruffled under all circumstances."

That's un-insult-able.  Now the provocative act, by itself, cannot upset
you.  It cannot make you angry, frustrated, stressed, etc.  Because you are
not giving your power away to that stimuli, you can remain centered in your
own value and operate from your best.  And that's because you know that it
is the view that you take of things (the meanings that you construct) that
upset you.   Now it is just a challenge.  Just something to deal with.

To take insult from anything, you (and you only) have to interpret the word,
the tone, the gesture, etc. as defining you.  We call that "personalizing."
For children, this is natural and inevitable.  Given their developmental
stage, and their lack of ego-strength, and the lack of development of their
frontal cortex- they inevitably interpret things in a personalizing way.  We
call that kind of thinking, ego-centric thinking.  They think from "first
person" - out of their own eyes, ears, skin, etc.  Not until seven or eight
will they even begin to be able to step out of first-person perspective and
begin to learn to take second-person perceptive.  

Well, that's the situation with children.  As an adult, you have the
self-reflexivity to think-and-emote about your experiences (create
meta-states) and one that you can create (if you want to) is
un-insult-ability.  It begins as you distinguish your person as a human
being from what you do as a person.  One is person, the other is behavior.
You are more than and different from your behavior.  One is your core, the
other are your expressions.

>From there, you can meta-state the understanding that "the map is not the
territory."  Whatever someone says or does is just their "map" about things.
As you move beyond the "word magic" of childhood, you can now explore what
the person is attempting to communicate to you.  You can stay calm and
unruffled as you do that. 

Today there are lots of adults (maybe most of them) who cannot hear
something they disagree with without taking insult.  And if someone calls
them a name or insults them with some phrase- they are immediately enraged
and ready to fight.  Look at the protest rallies and how easily it is to get
the young men ready to fight, throw stones, set cars on fire, etc.  Look at
the universities (at least in the US) where some college students are
"hurt," "traumatized" when a conservative speaker is invited to speak on
campus.  We call them "snowflakes" because they are ready to melt at the
least bit of heat.

What they need is the richly complex state called un-insult-ability.  Then
they can not only stay calm and cool when in disagreement, they can also
access empathy, care, seeking first to understand, etc. as they engage in a
learning-conversation.  This would probably be a good state for all of us.
It's a state that we present at Trainers' Training every year.  May you
learn how to be compassionately un-insult-able!

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

               Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

               Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

               1 970-523-7877 

                    Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net

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