[Neurons] 2009 Meta Reflection #30

[L. Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Meta Reflections #30

July 13, 2009

 

THE BALCONY 

AND THE DANCE FLOOR

 

 

I came across a great metaphor some time back in the book, Leadership on the
Line (2002) by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky:

"Let's say you are dancing in a big ballroom with a balcony up above.  A
band plays and people swirl all around you to the music, filling up your
view.  Most of your attention focuses on your dance partner, and your
reserve whatever is left to make sure that you don't collide with dancers
close by.  You let yourself get carried away by the music, your partner, and
the moment.  When someone later asks you about the dance, you exclaim, 'The
band played great, and the place surged with dancers.'

"But if you had gone up to the balcony and looked down on the dance floor,
you might have seen a very different picture.  You would have noticed all
sorts of patterns.  For example, you might have observed that when slow
music played, only some people danced; when the tempo increased, others
stepped onto the floor; and some people never seemed to dance at all.
Indeed, the dancers all clustered at one end of the floor, as far away from
the band as possible." (p. 53)

 

Here are two perspectives-a balcony perspective and a dance floor
perspective.  One arises from the middle of the action where there is lots
of energy and emotion, the other rises from a distance where you see the big
picture and the patterns of that energy.  Both are important.  What I
appreciate about Heifetz and Linsky's use of this metaphor is the point they
make.  It's a point that we in Neuro-Semantics are constantly making-we can
do both at the same time.  In fact, the synergy of both perspectives is, in
part, what defines "wisdom."

"Achieving a balcony perspective means taking yourself out of the dance, in
your mind, even if only for a moment.  The only way you can g ain both a
clearer view of reality and some perspective on the bigger picture is by
distancing yourself from the fray.  Otherwise you are likely to misperceive
the situation and make the wrong diagnosis, leading you to misguided
decisions about whether and how to interview."

 

The in and out perspectives-one from the balcony and one from the dance
floor are just that- two perspectives and we can learn to move in and out of
them at will, using each to enrich the other.  Stepping in enables you to
get lost in that moment, in the energy, in the emotion, in the experience.
Stepping out enables you to witness, to observe, to access meanings,
perspectives, and patterns.  While both are important, each is important for
different reasons and purposes.  And both involve associating.  That's
right.  One associates into immediacy, the other associates into
observation.  In spite of what some NLP trainers and books say, stepping out
of immediacy and into observation is not "dissociation."  That's an entirely
different process and dynamic. [The opposite of associating into a
particular emotion, state, or perspective is not dissociation, it is
associating into another emotion, state, or perspective.]

 

The meta-skill I'm describing here involves the process of repeatedly
stepping in and out that gives you the rich double ability of affecting and
influencing what is happening on the dance floor and simultaneously
observing the impact of that intervention in real time.  And if you make
this process iterative, then your intervention and feedback of the results
enables you to effectively coach, heal, and lead.  And the more skilled you
become in this iterative stepping-in-and-out process, the more able you will
be to give-and-receive feedback in the moment to shape new skills and
expertise.

 

And doing this is part of what it means to think systemically:

"To see yourself from the outside as merely one among the many dancers, you
have to watch the system and the patterns, looking at yourself as part of
the overall pattern.  You must set aside your special knowledge of your
intentions and inner feelings, and notice that part of yourself that others
would see if they where looking down from the balcony." (p. 54)

 

This describes a practical integration of this higher or meta-level skill.
Some call this mindfulness-a higher level awareness of the larger picture
while you are in the midst of things.  And since it increases the wisdom of
getting and maintaining perspective in the midst of action.  In the field of
athletics, many (perhaps most) top athletes are able to do both at the same
time-they can simultaneously play the game and observe it.  They can observe
their play while playing and adjust their skills and responses to increase
their effectiveness.  How about that!  Isn't that magical?  In the field of
coaching, this is one of the unique skills that gives Meta-Coaches a higher
level leverage in facilitating transformation.

 

This is also unique.  Few people can do this.  Few can see the dynamics of
their lives in communicating and relating as they happen.  Swept up in the
action of the meeting, they simply do not notice patterns.  They simply play
their part.  The observational challenge of the balcony view enables you to
see the subtleties that normally would go right by you.  Seeing the whole
picture requires standing back and watching as you take part of the action.
Taking a balcony perspective is tough to do when you're engaged on the dance
floor, being pushed and pulled by the flow of events.  It's tough unless
you've been trained!

 

The balcony perspective can also provide you an inner sanctuary for your
mind.  You can use it to be a place of reflection for renewal, a place where
you can listen to yourself away from the dance floor and the blare of the
music.  Once you have learned the skill of stepping in and out, you can then
step out while even in the midst of a challenge to reaffirm your deeper
sense of your self, your meanings, and your purpose.  Would you like this
meta-skill?  You can get it via the introductory training to Meta-States-
APG, or you can get it via working with a Meta-Coach.  Here's to the wisdom
of your synergistic dance floor-balcony perspective!

 

 

 

Coming Soon in 2009 --- Meta-Coach Training

 

                                    

1) Sweden

       Sept. 15, 16-23 - Coaching Mastery.  Sweden: Stockholm

       Sponsors: Sara Lee, Niklas Daver, and Helene Nordgen

        <mailto:niklas.daver at gmail.com> sara.m.lee at gmail.com
niklas.daver at gmail.com helene-nordgren at tele2.se 

 

2) New Zealand

      October 1, 2- 9 - Coaching Mastery.  Auckland, New Zealand

     Sponsor: Ignition - Colin Cox and Lena Gray - www.ignition.co.za
<http://www.ignition.co.za/>  

     Lena at ignition.co.za                                               

 

3) South Africa

     Oct. 22, 23-30 - Coaching Mastery.  Pretoria, South Africa

    cheryl at peoplesa.co.za                                

    Cell : 083 267 1412   Tel: 012 362 6542    Fax : 088 012 362 6641

    Skype: meta coach   www.psacoaching.co.za 

                        

4) Australia

       November 19, 20-27 - Coaching Mastery.  Sydney, Australia

      Sponsors: Laureli Blyth and Heidi Heron                  

      Heidi at nlpworldwide.com              Laureli at nlpworldwide.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

L.  Michael Hall, Ph.D.

International Society of Neuro-Semantics

Meta-Coach Training System

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO.  81520 USA

1 970-523-7877

1 970-523-5790 fax

      <http://www.neurosemantics.com/> www.neurosemantics.com 

       <http://www.neuro-semantics-trainings.com/>
www.neuro-semantics-trainings.com 

       <http://www.self-actualizing.org/> www.self-actualizing.org

       <http://www.meta-coaching.org/> www.meta-coaching.org

       <http://www.ns-video.com/> www.ns-video.com 

 

To sign up for a free subscription to the egroup of Neuro-Semantics
(Neurons) go to  <http://www.neurosemantics.com/> www.neurosemantics.com ---
you can  subscribe and unsubscribe there.   Meta Reflection articles by Dr.
Hall are sent out every Monday and meta-Coach Reflections sent out every
Wednesdday to the Meta-Coaches egroup.

 

 

 

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