[Neurons] 2008 Meta Reflections #16

[meta]

From: L. Michael Hall

2008 Meta Reflections #16

April 14, 2008



ARE YOU THE PROBLEM

OR THE PROBLEM-SOLVER?


A few weeks ago in preparation for the new training, Creativity and Innovation: Unleashing Your Creativity, I say down and made a list of problems. I also did that partly because Day 2 of the training is on Creative Problem-Solving and I wanted to create a problem-list, I had two reasons. First as a menu list of "problems" that will help participants focus on a problem to run through the problem-solution model. Second, I wanted to think through the range of problems that would probably come up.

As I then started listing problems, I had one of those light-bulb "Aha!" moments. The insight might not be revolutionary to you, but it was for me. Insight: Most problems, maybe 95 percent of problems, are people problems. They are in people, between people, from people, about people. Sure there are some non-people problems: storms, earthquakes, winter storms, tornados, death, accidents, and so on. But most problems are by human creation: mental and emotional problems, definitions of things, words that we use, there are problems about what we're thinking, feeling, saying, doing, and relating. There are problems of what other people are thinking, feeling, saying, doing, and how they relate.

"Aha!" I said to myself. "Most problems are of human construction. In fact, the great majority are functions of the meanings we give to things! And if that's so, then a good part of problem-solving involves changing our constructions, developing the ability to accept and seek to understand why others are doing whatever it is that they are doing that's pushing our buttons!"

Later that day I got a call from a business owner who wanted to order the book, Games Business Experts Play. After I got his name and mailing details, he then asked, "What other book would you recommend?" And as usual, I responded by asking about his objectives:

"What's your interest or outcome? What are you looking for in terms of what you want to achieve?"

That's when the conversation we had moved to some of the challenges and problems that he had with his business. So, given my immersion into listing and categorizing problems, I asked him a series of questions.

"Are the problems you're facing problems of how you or they are thinking? Or how you or they are feeling? Problems of expectations? Problems of understandings? Or problems of how you are talking to them or they to you? Or problems of behaviors? Performance, productivity, negotiating, etc.?"

As the conversation continued to develop, I then asked a question I don't think I had ever asked before:

"Are you the problem . . . [long pause] . . . or are you the problem-solver?"

I don't know where that came from, but it came and so I asked it. Then after an excruciating silence that lasted all of 2 or 3 seconds, he responded:

"Wow. I never thought of it that way. I don't know."

By the time we ended the conversation, I had effectively lost the sale of a second book, but felt that we had a fierce conversation that got to the heart of things. I didn't know that for sure, just a feeling. And it stayed just a feeling until 7 days later. That's when I got another call from him.

"You remember that question you asked me? Well, every day at least 10 and sometimes 20 times a day, I have asked myself that question. 'Are you the problem or are you the problem-solver?' It took a few days, but in all of the encounters at work, they keep telling me that they don't like the way I talk to them and that I don't listen and lots of other things about me. I have always thought that they were the problem-ungrateful, selfish, lazy, and disrespectful. But when you asked 'Are you the problem-solver?' I know that I'm not that. I have been the problem-blamer. I think I'm the problem."

"That's great!" I said. "So what's happened during the past week?"

"Well, that's the funny thing. I didn't feel bad at all about discovering that I was the problem. It was like, 'If I've created this mess, I can fix it.' And then, those words about being a problem-solver, shifted me to thinking, I can be the problem or I can get busy solving the problems here at work. And so I did."

"And how did that go?"

"Great. It was so matter-of-fact. I just focused on solving the problem because that's what I wanted. The whole thing about blaming wasn't working. I realized that it did not really matter who started something or their attitude, what mattered was what I was going to do about it. And I think that in the past week I have become 'a problem-solver.'"

I complemented him about this change of focus and intention and said, "Sounds like you are now winning the inner game with that one simple new frame! Congratulations." That's when he said, "You've got a book by that title! Would that be the next book to get?" I then sheepishly said "Yes, I think so."

So I got two "Aha!" moments, one about most problems being human problems- problems in, by, about, and between people, and the other about the fierceness of the question, "Are you the problem or the problem-solver?" I think I'll use that one again!

*****************

** Creativity and Innovation -- Unleashing Your Creativity

May 30-31, June 1 - Australia

                Gold Coast, Australia. This is the second Self-Actualization Workshop.

                Sponsored by AINS- Australia Institute of Neuro-Semantics

Contact persons: Martin Urban; Don Powers, Steve Hodgson, Rosie Davoli

info at ains.org.au   --- Taking reservations now!

Website: www.ains.org.au 

Telephone: 617 5530 6652

--------

USA Meta-Coaching, July 2008

Module I: 

April 4-6, Portland Or. at Apositiva. 

Contact: Cat Wilson and Rich Aanrich 

cat at apositivechange.com or rich at apositivechange.com

Telephone: (503) 525-0595.

Modules II and III --- Grand Junction Colorado, Ramada Inn

July 1-3, 2008 APG - Accessing Personal Genius

July 5-12, 2008 - Coaching Mastery

Sponsored by Neuro-Semantics Ltd. Colorado

Telephone: 1 970-523-7877

Write for a Flyer, Registration form and pricing

Register before May 1 for a 20% savings



The Ultimate Self-Actualization Workshop

May 17-19, 2008 Canada. 

                ID Com. International, Montreal Canada. 

                Contact: Isabell David. 

                Phone: 450-224-5398 / 514-815-5457

                idcom at cgocable.ca / idcom at idcominter.com

                Web: www.idcominter.com. 



 Oct. 18-20, 2008. South Africa 
Pretoria, South Africa. 

   Contact: Cheryl Lucas at People South Africa 

cheryl at peoplesa.co.za 

 Cell : 083 267 1412 Tel: 012 362 6542 Fax : 088 012 362 6641

Skype: meta coach www.psacoaching.co.za 

Website: www.meta-coaching.org 







L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
Neuro-Semantics Ltd., Executive Director
ISNS - International Society of Neuro-Semantics
P.O. Box 8
Clifton, Colorado, 81520 USA
www.neurosemantics.com 
www.meta-coaching.org
www.self-actualizing.org 

Email: meta @onlinecol.com @acsol.net @mindfocus.co.za
(970) 523-7877
(970) 523-5790 FAX
(877) 686-2867 toll free in the USA only
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