[Neurons] 2023 Neurons #49 REVERSING HATE

Sun Nov 5 22:30:49 EST 2023

From: L. Michael Hall

2023 Neurons #49

Nov. 6, 2023

A Psychological Solution #5

REVERSING HATE

The problem is hate.  At the heart of every war, the problem is not love; it
is not compassion.  It is not understanding; it is the opposite of these.
It is hatred, disgust, fear, anger, prejudice and intolerance.  Strangely
enough, this is what the media stirs up day after day.  It is also what the
riots are stirring up-hatred and intolerance.  But that is not the answer.
Hate is never the answer.  Now if only John F. Kennedy could speak! 

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present
are certain to miss the future.  Forgive your enemies, but never forget
their names." 

Hatred begins when we teach our children that those on the "other side" are
our "enemies."  Once you categorize someone as "Enemy," then you evoke all
of the negative and ugly emotions about the enemy-fear, dread, threat,
anxiety, anger, rage, disgust, intolerance, etc.  Then, once you have evoked
that ugly state of hatred, you can then de-personalize the other side.
That, in turn, enables you to do terrible things to the enemy.  After all,
if he is sub-human, then he is not human.  He is a monster, a demon- he is
evil itself.  Now nothing is too savage or brutal.

That's the strategy for de-humanizing and de-personalizing any group of
people.  We see it in the riots that are currently occurring, and all of the
anti-Semitic and anti-Palestinian slogans being thrown about.  In this way,
the protests and riots in the major cities around the world are making
things a lot worse, not better.  They are fueling the passion of hate.  They
are representing things in an either/or, black-or-white map that makes
people feel self-righteous on each side.

Isn't it amazing that none of the protests are promoting love or compassion
of one's fellow man?  None are promoting acceptance, tolerance, or
forgiveness-the very things that would make a difference.  These are
counter-acted by the promotion of intolerance, prejudice, non-thinking
judgments, accusatory language, etc.  And rather than any of that helping,
it is going to make things worse, a lot worse.

The Love Solution

Reversing all of this means moving out of these hateful, intolerant states
and into states of love and compassion.  Radical!?  Yes indeed.  To make
that change requires a truly radical transformation in attitude and belief,
and yet it is an absolutely necessary one.  Nelson Mandela knew hatred.
Prejudice and hatred put him in prison for 27 years.  Yet he wrote the
following:

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way
that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

"Courageous people do not fear forgiving for the sake of peace."

Nor was this just talk for Nelson Mandela.  When elected President, he
established a Truth and Reconciliation Commission that focused on
forgiveness.  He knew that any long-term solution would involve acceptance,
tolerance, and forgiveness.  That's what I've been urging for Israel and the
Palestinians.  I don't expect it to happen tody in the midst of the war.
But when the war is over and things are back to some normality-what if what
Mandela initiated in South Africa could be replicated in Israel and
Palestine?

The protests marches and riots which we are seeing around the world are
calling Jews vile names and calling for the genocide of the State of Israel
(for eliminating Israel which is Hamas' declared goal) is hate, not kindness
or tolerance, let alone love.  Everyone engaged in such protests are
promoting more and more hate and hatefulness.  That will not solve anything.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was another person who knew and suffered from
prejudice, hatred, and intolerance.  And he knew that more hatred and
violence was not the answer.  He, like other great leaders, knew that only
non-violent, peaceful protests, and a forgiving heart was the answer.  He
did not preach hate, but love.

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.  He who is devoid of
the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.  There is some good in
the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.  When we discover this, we
are less prone to hate our enemies."

"Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and
immoral.  I am not unmindful of the fact that violence often brings about
momentary results.  Nations have frequently won their independence in
battle.  But in spite of temporary victories, violence never brings
permanent peace."

Getting to Love

In spite of the fact that loving forgiveness may be a long way off, we
should nevertheless aim for it as our long-term goal.  Our real enemy is not
the person we have learned to hate, it is the way we have been thinking
about each other.  It is falling into cognitive distortions and cognitive
biases that prevent us from thinking respectfully of each other.  We are far
too quick to over-generalize, emotionalize, personalize, catastrophize,
awfulize, etc.  We are far too biased to assume that our group is totally
right and justified and the other group is totally wrong and unjustified.

That's why quoting history and arguing over "who started it" and "look what
we have suffered for so long," only perpetuates hatred and intolerance.  No
war or conflict has ever been resolved by convincing the other side that
they are "historically in the right."  That only increases
self-righteousness and victimhood.

It is such extremist thinking patterns that is the problem and why the
long-term psychological solution to these political problems brings us back
to the importance of critical and creative thinking skills.  We start with
the ability to consider each other's argument, ask questions, doubt, detail,
and distinguish.  That will then enable healthy conversations, discussions,
and debates.  That will cut out the media's sensationalizing and
over-generalizing that distorts the facts.  Let's aim for loving forgiveness
as the long-term solution.

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

ISNS Executive Director

738 Beaver Lodge

Grand Jct., CO. 81505 USA

(970) 523-7877

drhall at acsol.net  

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