[Neurons] 2022 Neurons #30 COACHING ATTITUDES

[Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2022 Neurons #30

July 25, 2022

Super-charging Your Attitude #6

 

COACHING ATTITUDES

 

One of the less desirable jobs of leaders and managers, or anyone who works
with other people, is dealing with their attitudes.  A common complaint in
lots of business and by lots of business managers concerns attitudes. 

"Our employees don't have the right attitude around here."  

"Some of our people have got some really bad attitudes."  

"Bill needs a swift kick in the attitude."

 

Sometimes another person's attitude seems like such a little thing, and yet
it can significantly bother.  Sometimes we let another's attitude irritate
us and annoy us.  We stress out about it as we become obsessive about it,
gossip about it, mock it, despise someone for an attitude, etc.  How often
does one person's negative attitude set the tone at work and become the
center of focus?

 

Sometimes the problem is our own attitude.  Slowly but surely over the years
we develop certain attitudes about certain things so that eventually what
others would call an attitude, to us does not seem like an attitude at all.
It's just "the way things are."  "It's just how I see things."  Then as we
lose awareness of our own attitudes since we live from them and so don't
notice them or reflect upon them, they become invisible to us.  So when
someone says, "I don't like your attitude," we are taken back, "What
attitude?  What are you talking about?"

 

What do you do if you discover some unpleasant attitudes in someone you care
about or in yourself?  Can we coach attitudes?  And if so, how do we do
that?  When Southwest Airlines started, the CEO simply avoided all of this.
He decided that he would "hire attitude and train skills."  Since then, many
companies have followed that lead.  Finding it hard, difficult, or
impossible to change someone's attitude, hiring departments start with the
attitudes that they want.  Those are the people who get hired.  Actually,
that's a really good idea.  It saves companies a lot of time and trouble.

 

But suppose you already have employees who have some unpleasant, or worse
yet, rotten attitudes.  What then?  What if you have employees or colleagues
who have any of the following attitudes, how do you educate or coach them to
change their attitude and develop a more positive and enhancing one?

           Entitlement: Because I'm special, I'm entitled to special
treatment and privileges.

           Approval-seeking: I need constant approval and recognition.

           Competitiveness: Business is all about competing, being your
best, getting the biggest piece of the pie, winning over your opponents.

           Blaming: I never accept responsibility, that leads to painful
consequences, always shift the blame to someone else.

           Pessimism/Negativism: This company sucks, there's really no
future for us.  This job is boring and pointless.

           Wokeness: I need to always tow the line and be politically
correct.  It's terrible to step out of the mainline.

 

As an overall view of the change process, detection and awareness comes
first.  You can't change what you're not aware of.  And sometimes, just
sometimes, awareness per se is curative.  Yet that awareness has to be a
non-judgmental awareness, an understanding awareness, and an awareness
that's within the framework of wanting to be one's best self.  So first,
become aware of the attitude.  For yourself, get some feedback.  This is
where 360 feedback in organizations can powerfully initiate the search for
any self-sabotaging attitude.  For another person, invite an invitation for
feedback.  "Would you like some feedback?"  Or ask, "I'm confused a bit,
what would you say your attitude is right now?  What would you call it?"

 

Next, identify the composition of the attitude.  Know that it is made up of
thoughts, feelings, physiology, postures, tones, facial expressions, etc.,
identify what you see and hear in sensory-based terms.  A great tool for
this is to get a video and audio recording of yourself or the other person.
It is hard to deny what is recorded.

 

Shift the components around.  As you alter the words, the cinematic features
of the images and sounds that you play about something, the overall gestalt
changes.  "Keep that pessimistic attitude while you break into a big smile."
"Thinking about your work, say, 'This is a glorious chance to improve
myself' while frowning and shaking your fist."

 

Adjust the attitude using new components.  Say to the person who claims to
be cheerful, but is frowning, scolding, shaking her index finger, etc. "as
you release the tension and lines in your forehead, tell me one thing you
are cheerful about..."  Say to the one with a depressive attitude, "Please
repeat that but this time, stand up straight, raise your hands over your
head as if doing a 'Hallelujah!'" 

 

Now practice until it becomes automatic.  As every attitude is already an
automatic pattern that's been programmed in, you have to now repeat the
changes until repetition makes it the new automatic program.

 

 

 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Executive Director, ISNS

P.O. Box 8

Clifton COLORADO   81520  USA

meta at acsol.net 

 

There are lots of books, small documents, and "gifts" on The Shop.  Check it
out for yourself.

www.neurosemantics.com/shop/ 

 

136330.NS.PredictiveThinkingCvr FRONT

 

 

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