[Neurons] 2022 Neurons #19 WHEN EXTREMISTS CAN'T COMMUNICATE

[Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2022 Neurons #19

May 16, 2022

Distinctions #18

 

 

WHEN EXTREMISTS CAN'T COMMUNICATE

 

A debate which is currently going on in the US is between pro-choice
(pro-abortion) and pro-life (anti-abortion).  The pro-choice side frames the
debate overly simplistically as if it is about only one subject, the woman's
body.  They carry ridiculous signs, "My body, my choice."  If only it was
that simple!  Of course, it is not.  The pro-life side frames the debate
equally simplistically as if it was also about only one subject, murder.
They carry equally ridiculous signs, "Abortion is murder."  And, of course,
it is not murder.  Terminating a life, yes; killing, perhaps, but not
murder.

 

Why can't the two extreme sides communicate?  Why can they not "seek first
to understand and then be understood" like reasonable open-minded people?
Mostly because they have taken such extreme positions.  In terms of
cognitive distortions, each side is biased and fallacious due to
over-generalization, labeling or name-calling, tunnel vision, personalizing,
emotionalizing, awfulizing, either/or thinking, etc.  No wonder there is
almost no ability to think through and talk through the issues.  All the
sides can do is yell, scream, call names, and make threats.  Not only is
that not very civilized, it gets us nowhere.  What does?  Dialogue.
Open-minded thinking things through in a context of respect.

 

For there to be communication, we first have to break up the either/or
thinking pattern.  For both sides, there are many factors and variables.  It
is not a simple choice between either nurture the potential life to birth or
terminate the potential life.  It's just not that simple.  So what are the
many variables?  Here's the key ones: 

What the mother wants; what the father wants; the mother's health, the
condition of the pregnancy (planned, accidental, or forced by rape); the
couple's connection (dating, single sexual activity, engaged, married, their
ages, etc.); the finances (single mother, as a couple), the couple's mental
health (capable of love and support, extending themselves, parenting skills
or lack thereof), etc.

 

Once sex has resulted in pregnancy, what then?  To engage our critical
thinking and problem-solving skills, we can ask a series of questions. And
it is the ability to ask and entertain questions that enables thinking to
begin.

 

1) Was this new life planned?  If it was not, then what?  Was it an
accident, did it occur via violence and rape? 

 

2) How old is the mother-to-be?  Is she a young teenager, a college student
still living at home, a professional woman in her 20s or more, a married
woman?

 

3) Was the pregnancy wanted?  If not, are the parents willing to adjust and
want the baby?  If they cannot, resenting the coming baby sets up a very
problematic psychological environment for the child.  

 

4) Is the potential new life healthy?  If not, then what kind of problems
are anticipated?  Are there severe retardation and/or deformity?  How much
anticipated medical attention, time, cost, etc.?  What would be the child's
quality of life?  How would this affect the parents, the family, the
extended community?

 

5) Would the birth be supported?  If yes, by who?  Who would be all of the
baby's support group?  Both mother and father?  If not, then what would be
anticipated?

 

6) Are there resources for the birth?  What is the financial condition of
mother and father?  What life situation in terms of time and effort?  What
capacities do each have?  What would be missing?  Is it ecological to plan
for a birth at this time?

 

7) Who will be primarily responsible for the well-being of the baby?  The
mother, the father, both, grandparents, etc.?

 

8) What beliefs and understandings do you bring to the subject of
terminating a potential life?  Do you make any distinction between the first
four months and afterwards when the baby has a heart-beat?  What about the
last trimester?

 

That's a lot of variables to take into consideration.  With each there is
the question of how much weight do you give to each one?  What is most
important to you?  How does your hierarchy of values fit with the hierarchy
of values of the other persons?  No wonder the issue is so problematic and
why it certainly cannot be framed as a simplistic either/or choice.  There
is no simple answer.  Ideally everyone who has to make such a choice needs
to think it through, consider all sides, clarify one's values and be
respectful to those who disagree.

 

Postscript: In spite of the extreme statements that many are making,
ultimately even if Row vs. Wade is overturned, that does not mean abortion
will be illegal; it means that it goes to each State to make that decision.
Many states will keep things as they are, others will impose some
restrictions on abortion.  

 

For more: See Executive Decisions: Deciding Wisely (2020) and Executive
Wisdom: Being One of the Wise Ones (2022).

 

 

 

 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Executive Director, Neuro-Semantics

P.O. Box 8

Clifton CO. 81520 USA

www.neurosemantics.com 

 

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134324 NeuroSemantics Inside Out Front Cover

 

 

 

 

 

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