[Neurons] 2020 Neurons #50 BLAME THINKING

[Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall   

2020 Neurons #50

September 24, 2020

Reflections on Politics #6

 

 

BLAME THINKING

 

The thinking that leads a person to assume personal responsibility for self
is hard.  It is hard personally and it is hard mentally.  That's because it
is a thinking that requires a lot of personal development and maturity.  It
is not the thinking of children or the immature.  Response-ability thinking
involves recognizing your innate powers of thinking, feeling, speaking, and
acting- powers that cannot be taken away from you, but powers that you can
give away.  That's what victim thinking does.

 

Opposite to the ability-to-choose-my-own-response thinking is blame
thinking.  It is much easier to do and given how children so easily fall
into it- it must be a default thinking pattern of children.  When a child
gets into something, messes something up, causes havoc- an easy and cheap
way to "feel good" anyway is to avoid accepting responsibility for oneself
and to blame.  You can blame your brother or sister.  You can blame mom or
dad.  You can blame the weather, the TV, the neighbor, the cat ... the
objects of blame are infinite.

 

If you have not learned how to own your innate powers- then an easy, cheap,
and illegitimate way to "feel good" is to blame others for your situation
and your problems.  And if you run out of parents, family, culture, school,
and government to blame, then blame fate, blame God, blame the universe,
blame your genetics, blame the politicians.

 

Now there are actually lots of benefits and advantages to blaming- which
explains why I it is so prevalent.  First, you get to avoid unpleasant
things.  When you blame you can avoid or save yourself from feeling
responsible and accountable.  Now you don't have to face the bad feelings
you have let yourself and others down.  Then as an extra - -you get to feel
righteous, and even better- self-righteous.  You can feel a pseudo-
spirituality, "I'm better than others."

 

Then there is the freedom from effort.  When you blame, you also don't have
to do anything. Blaming saves you the time, effort, and energy of taking
effective actions.  You don't have to correct what you did wrong, you don't
have to invest the energy and effort in learning and developing new skills.
Blaming is an energy-saving device allowing you to feel comfortable being
irresponsible.

 

Here's some examples of the freedom from effort.  Learning.  It is easier to
blame than take responsibility for your education.  Yes, true enough,
education is the magic ticket out of poverty, low paying jobs, ignorance,
stupid decisions, and cognitive distortions.  And yes, you can pursue your
education without going to college - go to the library.  Buy a book.  Learn
how to learn.  You have no excuse.  But all of that takes energy and effort
and you have to get yourself into the right state.  Too much work!  Just
blame your school, the teacher, your parents.

Relating.  It's easier to blame than to take responsibility for your
relationships.  Yes, no matter how you have been treated - how dysfunctional
your original family, you can learn better.  You can learn how to listen,
care, be empathetic, forgiving, etc.   But again, that's a lot of work!
That would require that you develop some patience and tolerance and
understanding.  Much easier to just blame. 

 

Healthy fitness.  It is easier, a lot easier also, to blame others for your
lack of fitness and/or ill-health.  Here it is really easy to blame
genetics, your inherited temperament, the family you grow up in, the
fast-food industry, your friends, etc.  After, all have you ever considered
how much effort, focus, and discipline it would take to get fit, eat
healthily, and manage your eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. 

 

Now if you want to really see blame thinking- listen to the politicians.
And sad to say, this includes just about every single one of them.  Listen
to how they answer legitimate questions (not the "gotcha' questions).
Something is chosen to focus on that indicates a weakness or fault in the
person or the political party and politicians have an incredible ability to
dance away from that issue immediately and swing their party around with an
equally large accusations about what the opposing party is doing.

 

There is a cure for blame thinking and the linguistics of blame, but it is
not fast nor is it easy.  It requires maturity, a willingness to own one's
responses, an inner permission to be a fallible human being, and an
understanding that making mistakes is par for the course whenever you are
engaged in actualizing your potentials.

 

Childish I-have-to-have-my-way Thinking

In the news today from the Grand Jury in Louisville Kentucky revealed a
conclusion that some people didn't like.  So what did they do?  Protest ...
and then start attacking the police, starting fires, shot two police, and
threaten that they will burn things down if they don't get their way.  Some
even attacked the General Attorney of Kentucky about the news, even though
he is Black.  He noted that "justice by riots" is not justice, but revenge.
The fact known from the beginning is that the boyfriend of Breonna Taylor
shot first at the police and the police then returned fire in self-defense.
Democracy requires that we reach justice by following the rule of law and
letting the processes work.  That does not mean we always get the results
that will please everybody. 

 

 

 

 




 

 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Executive Director, Neuro-Semantics

P.O. Box 8

Clifton CO. 81520 USA

www.neurosemantics.com 

 

To unsubscribe to Neurons, send request to meta at acsol.net 

For a touch of humor --- get the new book HUMOROUS THINKING (2020).  Humor
is a meta-perspective about incongruity, exaggeration, playfulness, and even
absurdity.

 

 



 

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