[Neurons] 2019 Neurons #43 COMMUNICATION MYTHS

[Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2019 Neurons #43

September 23, 2019

 

COMMUNICATION MYTHS

 

Given that NLP is a Communication Model and Neuro-Semantics is an Integrated
Communication Model- communication is our business.  That is also why we
often, instead of giving a "NLP Practitioner" certificate, we give a
Professional Communicator Certificate.  After all, that's what
neuro-linguistics and neuro-semantics is all about- how we communicate
meanings and understandings to ourselves and to others.  And in this, there
are numerous communication myths that we have to expose as we train people
in advanced communication competencies.

 

Myth #1: Communication is talking.

People who are deceived by this myth falsely think that by doing more and
more talking, they are communicating more.  Others may think that effective
communication is equal to the gift of gab.  But it is not!  Professional
communicators know that communication involves listening as much as talking.
Talking, in the sense of advocating what you think, feel, and want is only
part of communication, and actually it is a minor part.  The word
communication itself speaks of a co-union and a communion of two or more
persons who interchange ideas, listen to each other, and seek first to
understand then to be understood.  Real communication is a collaborative
adventure of discovery and, at its best, is a dialogue.

 

Myth #2: Communication is a one-way process.


Since real communication is not talking, to truly communicate, you have to
engage in a two-way process that is more like a dance.  It involves both
sending and receiving messages, receiving feedback and reflecting and
adjusting, and learning, and co-creating the experience.  In communication,
we compare message sent and received to see if they match.  Then we seek to
match the other person's model of the world in order to understand the other
person on his or her terms.  In the reflecting process, we check on our own
messages to check if we are being congruent and accurate. 

 

Myth #3: Communication is easy.

The only person who could possibly think that this is easy is the person who
has not tried it.  When you engage in the process of listening, entertaining
another's ideas, questioning and exploring, re-presenting your own ideas-
you will quickly find out that it is challenging and demands a lot of you.
It demands attention, focus, being present, thinking, etc.  The dialogue
process is actually a much more difficult challenge than most people
imagine.  The challenge is due to the many variables involved, and the
ability to truly listen, consider, ask good questions, get one's
ego-investments out of the way, to recognize one's own thinking and emoting
filters, and more.  All of these skills require training and practice in
order to become truly competent in communicating.

 

Myth #4: Communicating is simple.

Rather than being simple, real communication is complex because it is
multi-layered.  It is complex also due to the many, many variables involved.
With the messages sent and received, there is also the creation of multiple
contexts of those messages.  Complicating things is the language used, the
non-verbals, the history of a relationship, and the multiple levels of
thinking and emoting.  There are also the multiple frames which govern the
meanings and for those you have to go meta.  Then there are the 60 possible
meta-programs which filter how each person thinks and perceives.  So getting
on to another person's channel is most challenging. 

 

Myth #5: Communication is saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

If only it was that easy and simple!  But alas, "meaning" itself is an
internal constructing of understanding, of linking and associating things
together, so that actually "words do not mean" anything.  It is people who
use words to convey meanings.  We do the meaning-making and we use words
(properly and improperly, appropriately and inappropriately) so that we
often have to check with others about how they are using their words and
share our own operational definitions. 

 

The basic NLP communication guideline is, "The meaning of your communication
is the response you get."  Given that, you never know what you have
communicated.  With a video-recording, you can know what you said, how you
said it, the context, etc.  But you never know for sure what the other
person heard.  Not until you get a response can you begin to guess the
message that the other person constructed from what you said and how you
said it.  It's the co-creation of meaning that makes communication a shared
construct.

 

There are other myths and many, many more communication guidelines in NLP
and Neuro-Semantics- guidelines that can enrich leadership, management,
parenting, love and much, much more.  For more, contact your nearest
Neuro-Semanticist.  

 

 




 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Executive Director, Neuro-Semantics

P.O. Box 8

Clifton CO. 81520 USA

www.neurosemantics.com   look for the special offer

 

Author of the stunning new history of NLP--- NLP Secrets.  

Investigative Journalism which has exposed what has been kept secrets for
decades. 

http://www.neurosemantics.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/NLP-Secrets-2_sml2.
png

 

 

 

 

 

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