[Neurons] 2018 Neurons #40 FACING PERSONAL TRAGEDY

Sun Sep 23 19:13:59 EDT 2018

From: L. Michael Hall

2018 Neurons #40

September 24, 2018

Neuro-Semantics and Modern Challenges (#1)

FACING PERSONAL TRAGEDY

When it comes to personal tragedies-there are a thousand different forms.
The tragedy could be a crisis in your finances (debt, bankruptcy,
unemployment, etc.), in your health (accidents, disease, etc.), in your
career (redundancy, getting fired, under-employed, bureaucracy, etc.), in
your family relationships or friendships (conflict, disagreements, abuse,
etc.), and so on.  Nor is there any escape from personal tragedies.  There's
no insurance that you can buy to protect you from having to face the many
different kinds of personal tragedies that can arise in life.  It is
inevitable and inescapable.  It's an intimate aspect of life regardless of
your wealth, health, friends, intelligence, etc.

In the last week here in the US, we have witnessed many, many people facing
personal tragedies as hurricane Florence came on shore destroying homes and
businesses with winds, waves, and flooding.  As a result there was the loss
of life, the anxiety of being stranded, the uncertainty of how to put one's
life back together, etc.  At the same time a typhoon did similar destruction
first in the Philippines, then in Hong Kong and mainland China.

Now while none of us have any choice about facing personal tragedies, we do
have choice about how to think about a tragedy.  And of course, how we think
determines how we respond.  This is precisely where each of us have
"personal power" to manage our lives.  No one can force us to think about
something in a certain way.  You and I are free to think about anything in a
hundred different ways.  Some of those ways of thinking will deepen your
misery and pain, will undermine your sense of choice and control, and will
put you in a deep pit of depression.  Some of those ways of thinking, on the
other hand, will build up create an attitude of courage, determination, and
resilience within you.  The way you think about tragedy is that critical.

This gives you a leverage point for taking charge of your life and your
future, or for forfeiting it.  In this, your way of thinking is not
determined.  At any moment you can turn the direction of your emotions and
responses and therefore of your life.  In terms of facing any and every
tragedy, the key is your way of thinking.

Now as we know in NLP, your way of thinking involves a great many
sub-variables.  Beginning with your representations, we can first of all
examine what and how you represent things.  As we do, we can then inquire:
What is the effect of representing X in this way?  Does this bring out your
best response?  Does this empower you as a person so that you are taking
charge of your life?  If the answer is 'no,' then you are at a critical
choice point in your life.  You are at a point where you have a leverage
point for positive change.  The question is whether you will use it or not.

If the answer is 'no,' then there are these questions: How could you
represent X in a way that will enable you to think and feel more
resourceful?  What would be a better thing to represent?  What else is there
to represent that you have left out?

All of this describes the realm of representational thinking.  And it's
powerful.  Based on the basic Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology model, it puts
a central key to personal power in your hands. Namely, how you think
determines how you feel and how you respond.

Some will respond to personal tragedies with self-pity.  They will wallow in
their misery, deepen their sufferings, try to hook others to rescue them,
and live as if a victim of uncontrollable factors.  They will become highly
skilled in whining, complaining, and making excuses.  That will be their way
because it is their way of thinking.

Others will respond to a personal tragedy with resilience.  They will accept
that things often happen that they don't like and don't want.  Yet when such
things happen, they immediately begin looking around to see what they can do
to make things better by taking constructive action.  They will examine what
went wrong to find out how they contributed to it and how to avoid making
that mistake again.  They will then rise up with courage as they try again.
They think of themselves as responsible agents for what they think, feel,
say and do.  They are learners and live life bravely as victors rather than
as victims.

Representational thinking is one sub-variable, there are many more.  There
is your cognitive filters (meta-programs), your frames (meta-level
references, meta-states) which include meta-level phenomena such as beliefs,
decisions, identities, permissions, and a hundred other meta-level
phenomena.  And each one of these provides yet another leverage point for
change, transformation, and renewal.  With each one you can alter your way
of thinking so that you adopt a more empowering way of responding to life in
all of its aspects- even tragedies.

For more, see Executive Thinking (2018) on the
website-www.neurosemantics.com 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D., Executive Director 

Neuro-Semantics 

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

               1 970-523-7877 

                    Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net

    cid:261CED33-4408-4124-862B-B9A4B37A367A

Dr. L. Michael Hall writes a post on "Neurons" each Monday.  For a free
subscription, sign up on www.neurosemantics.com.   On that website you can
click on Meta-Coaching for detailed information and training schedule.   To
find a Meta-Coach see  <http://www.metacoachfoundation.org>
www.metacoachfoundation.org.   For Neuro-Semantic Publications --- click
"Products," there is also a catalog of books that you can download.   

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