[Neurons] 2018 Neurons #34 WHY WE DON'T ASK WHY

[Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2018 Neurons #34

August 12, 2018

 

 

WHY WE DON'T ASK WHY

 

When it comes to the very idea of modeling, it did not begin with Bandler
and Grinder.  As I have noted in many other articles, books, and posts here
on Neurons- Abraham Maslow began modeling self-actualizing people back in
1938.  And there were others.  For example, Fritz Perls thought about
modeling as an intimate part of the work of therapy, specifically Gestalt
Therapy.  In his last book, a book that was finished two years after his
death, the book that Richard Bandler transcribed from audio-tapes and films
of Perls- The Gestalt Approach and Eyewitness to Therapy (1973)- Fritz Perls
wrote about finding the how.

 

In speaking about a client who had a headache, Perls said that people often
present a headache- 

"... as one of their most annoying symptoms.  They complain that their
headaches bother them ..." 

In response, Perls described his approach. 

"... we ask them to take more responsibility and less aspirin.  We do this
by asking them to discover through experiencing how they produce their
headaches..." (The Gestalt Approach, 1973, p. 68)

 

That's the heart of modeling- discovering how a person produces an
experience.  In order to do that, he then described more fully how to get
into the experience to fully experience it and understand it (p. 68-70).  In
explaining this, he passionately argued against asking why and as
emphatically urged them to ask about the how.

"The 'why' questions produce only pat answers, defensiveness,
rationalizations, excuses, and the delusion that an event can be explained
by a single cause.  The why does not discriminate purpose, origin, or
background.  Under the mask of inquiry it has contributed perhaps more to
human confusion than any other single word.  Not so with 'how.'  The how
inquires into the structure of an event, and once the structure is clear all
the whys are automatically answered.  Once we have clarified the structure
of the headache we can answer all the questions of he whys-guys ad libitum.
..." (Italic added)

 

If there's any paragraph that succinctly summarizes why not to ask why and
why to ask how, that is the paragraph.  Then in typical Fritz Perls style,
he adds a bit of humor to this subject.

"... if we spend our time looking for causes instead of structure we may as
well give up the idea of therapy and join the group fo worrying grandmothers
who attack their pray with such pointless questions as 'Why did you catch
that cold?'  'Why have you been so naughty/'" (1973, p. 77)

 

Then to add yet one more argument against asking why, he adds this:

"The majority of questions the patient asks are seductions of the intellect,
related to the notion that verbal explanations are a substitute for
understanding." (1973, p. 78)

Modeling is about coming to understand the structure of an experience and
that means figuring out how the person is performing the experience.  What
is the person doing internally in the mind and/or externally with the body
that is generating the person's subjective experience?  Modeling is the
process of answering that question.

 

The idea of not asking why in NLP came from other sources that from the
founders of NLP.  It most directly came from Perls and from Satir; both
emphasized the importance of the processes over history, source, and
explanation.  Knowing how something works informs us about what we can
actually do to change things.  That is something that the "why of
explanation" or the "why of history" does not provide.

 

Now in contrast to those two why questions, there is another.  And it is a
very productive question. That is the "why of importance or value."  When
you ask, "Why is that important to you?" you are looking for and probing
into a person's values and criteria.  And that helps us to understand what
the person is intending to achieve.  So while this why helps us understand
the person more fully, that is not the case with the why of explanation or
history.  Those why questions tend to evoke intellectualizing and
archeological surveys.

 

 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D., Executive Director 

Neuro-Semantics 

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

               1 970-523-7877 

                    Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net


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