[Neurons] 2017 Neurons #57 Transforming Depression
Michael Hall
meta at acsol.net
Mon Dec 25 10:20:57 EST 2017
From: L. Michael Hall
2017 Neurons #57
December 25, 2017
This Thing Called "Depression" #4
TRANSFORMING DEPRESSION
When it comes to the complex meta-state called "depression," given that we
create it as noted in the past three Neurons posts, we can now ask two very
different questions. First, "How does a person create depression?" And
second, "How can we transform depression?"
First, Creating the Meta-Muddle of Depression
How does a person get into such the meta-muddle of depression? What kind of
structure does this involve? Here is a common formula for creating
depression.
1) Reject, refuse, and attack negative feelings. When you feel down or
discouraged, the "negative" feeling could be sadness, grief, discouragement,
fear, frustration, stress, tiredness, fatigue, etc. These emotions are
valuable. They result as "the difference" between your map (expectations)
and your experiences. They indicate the map-territory difference. When you
reject them, you reject the information they offer you about your
expectations and your skills or experiences. To create a good bout of
depression, reject, refuse, and fear your negative emotions. Hate them and
get angry at them.
A subtle way to reject negative emotions is to pretend that you are not
really down and try to "cheer up." When you try to cheer up yourself or
another, you assume is that there's something wrong or bad about feeling
down and depressed. You "should" get rid of it. Your cheering up, as a
command, "Don't feel bad!", amounts to a demand to not have some feelings
(sadness, pessimism) and a demand to have other feelings (cheer, optimism).
Have you ever tried to cheer up someone who was depressed? Have you ever
offered positive words of cheer and hope and optimism as you confidently
assured him with your inspiring words? Have you ever tried to reason
yourself or another out of feeling a feeling? Have you ever felt assured
that if you use the common sense logic of telling a depressed person to
"snap out of it and start counting blessings? that will work? It didn't
help much, did it? Do you know why it did not? The "cheer" does not work
because it ignores the primary feelings, covers them up, and asks you to
feel something that violates your current thinking and feeling.
2) Use your attempted solution to create a second level problem. If you
command your sad feelings to go away, if you hate them, or fear them, all of
these "attempted solutions" are actually amplifying the depression and
creating a second-level problem on top of things. By ordering yourself,
"Don't feel X, feel Y" this supposed solution itself becomes yet another
problem. It implies a taboo (prohibition) against your emotions and sets up
a double-bind. By trying to not feel one emotion, and trying to order
another (feeling cheerful) creates an internal conflict. In the long run,
it will increase a sense of inadequacy, powerlessness, helplessness, and
badness.
3) Layer on more problems. You started with a discouragement, you then used
cheering up as an attempted solution that prohibited the first emotion. You
then brought other emotions against yourself- fear, guilt, anger, etc.
deepening the sense of being helpless, powerless, and inadequate. These
meta-problems then outframed the first level problem generating more
negative feelings and amplifying the depression. It's all a vicious spiral
that will only pull you down further into a vortex of negativity creating a
full-fledge "depression."
Transforming and Transcending Depression
Ready to change all of that? Now that you know how you have created your
experience, you know a little bit about how to un-create it, how to stop
creating it, and how to create something much better and more resourceful.
First, Distinguish the Levels of States and Accept States.
All states are not the same. At the primary level sadness signals you that
there's a difference between your map and experience. Given how you have
mapped some facet of the world, there's a sense of loss in your experience.
Sadness appropriately registers the loss as it also motivates you to replace
what you have lost. This is actually good and valuable- you need it it
makes you human and real.
Primary level "negative" emotions have a positive role and purpose in our
lives. At the primary level your thoughts-and-feelings are in relationship
to something "out there," the emotions, while unpleasant and distressful,
are valuable. When you turn your "negative" feelings against your own
feelings (sad about sad, anger at sadness, fear of sadness, shame of
sadness, etc.), those second-order emotions create the semantic damage of
depression.
"Depression" is not a primary level emotion, but a meta-state. If you fail
to distinguish the levels of states, you will probably mis-understand
"depression," thinking it is a primary state and about something out there
in the world. It is not. It is a meta-state made up of negative thoughts
and feelings about some other thought, belief, expectation, hope, demand,
etc. This explains why it's easy to solve sadness and why the sadness
releases emotional pain. The same, however, does is not true for
depression.
Second, Positively Accept Sadness and Negative Emotions.
Knowing that all of your emotions on the primary level are good, valuable,
and important, use them for self-awareness. Counter-intuitively, you
effectively manage your emotions by positively accepting your fear, sadness,
anger, guilt, etc. Acknowledge what you are feeling, then decide what to
do. If you have brought negative feelings against yourself, accept that,
realize the mistake that you are maing, and set about to reverse it.
Counter-intuitively, by accepting the very thing you don't like and don't
want gives you control over it. Acceptance means acknowledging what is; it
does not condon it, want it, or approve it. Give yourself permission to
feel sad, to feel down, to feel discouraged. Paradoxically, the more open
and receptive you are with your emotions, you'll do the emotional work and
the emotions pass on.
Third, Undo the De-Pressing.
Instead of pushing down your energies, hope, dreams, values, etc., lift them
up. Positively reframe your meanings, set high level intentions to
re-ignite your inspiration, get off your butt and get 30 minutes of exercise
every day, make a contribution of your time, money, and energy to others.
L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
Neuro-Semantics Executive Director
Neuro-Semantics International
P.O. Box 8
Clifton, CO. 81520 USA
1 970-523-7877
Dr. Hall's email:
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