[Neurons] 2017 Neurons #52 Holding the Attitude Conversation

Mon Nov 27 14:35:17 EST 2017

From: L. Michael Hall

2017 Neurons #52

Nov. 27, 2017

Conversations #7

HOLDING THE ATTITUDE CONVERSATION

Part II

We now know what an attitude is- a grown-up and solidified emotion that
became a mood and that now is a disposition which is so well integrated that
it is registered in the body as posture.  To achieve this level of
integration, an attitude also involves a gestalt of several states.  That
is, it is not just the case of involving a single emotion, but multiple
meta-levels that support it and sustain it.  This results from the
repetition and habituation process itself.  As you- over time- experience
and re-experience the same thinking and meaning-making that creates the
first emotion, you begin to believe in it, identify with it, value it, etc.
and all of these meta-stating processes thereby locks it in as part of who
you are.

Knowing all of this, you can now begin the attitude conversation.  But how
do you begin?  Begin by focusing on something empirical- a behavior that is
giving the other person some problems.  Then back up as you validate it as a
skill- a skill that may no longer be serving the person very well. 

"It seems that you're struggling with X, is that right?  If so, what's your
attitude about it?" 

The subject could be about budgeting, planning, criticism, feedback,
authority, exercise, challenge, or dozens and dozens of other things.  Ask
this because attitudes show up in relationship to some aspect of everyday
life.  If the person struggles with the question ask, "What's your position
on X?"  "What do you think or feel about X?"

Next you will want to flush out what's behind the person's thoughts, so ask
the basic meta-question:  "If that's true, then what do you think about
that?"  This question holds the first thought in place and invites the
person to step back from his own thinking to look at his next highest level
thoughts about that.  Sometimes the conversation will have to repeat this
process multiple times to get back to the governing thoughts (beliefs,
understandings, decisions, prohibitions, identifications, etc.) which are
behind it all.  That's the basic meta-question, there are many forms it can
take:

"What do you believe about X?"

"What decision have you made about X?"

              "What understanding do you have about X that informs your
thinking?"

Unpacking a belief system in this way enables the conversation to become
deep enough to get to the concepts driving the attitude.  Then, once you
have exposed the many factors within the attitude, you can run a series of
quality control questions to help the person opt for a better choice.  Ask
testing questions like, "Does this serve you well?"  "Does this enhance your
life?"  "Does this bring out your best?"  Sometimes the mere exposure of the
hidden factors that drive an attitude is sufficient to change it. 

The next level of awareness that's required to break a habitual attitude is
becoming mindful in everyday life when and where and how the attitude gets
evoked.  Because it has dropped out of consciousness awareness, to change it
requires making what is unconscious conscious again.  One of the best ways
to do that is to set up a plan for monitoring and recording the presence of
the attitude.  When and where does it show up?  What evokes it?  Who evokes
it?  A useful tool in doing this is keeping a daily journal about the
subject.  If it is an attitude about money, then keeping "a money journal"
and recording every time you experience your attitude about money.

There's no choice without this level of mindfulness, so this is the first
step.  Once you become aware of the habitual thinking-feeling state, then
you begin to create a space- a moment- where you can choose a new frame of
mind.

"What would you prefer as your attitude about this?"

"To have that attitude, what would be one or more of the things that you
would have to believe?"

As the person answers these questions, notice the states that the person
accesses and experiences, or the states that are implied in the person's
responses.  Do that because, knowing that an attitude is a gestalt state,
there will be several states within it and you will want to identify them.
The end result of the gestalt is a frame of mind. 

"What would be your desired frame of mind?"

"When you consider this attitude, who do you know who has the best and most
productive attitude about X?"

"What do you guess is their frame of mind?"

Once you have this information, you are ready to do some meta-stating of
your attitude.  Start with the subject, for example, exercise.  Then as you
access and hold the primary state that you have regarding exercise, then
access the first state that you want to bring to it.  For example, perhaps
acceptance.  Bring acceptance to "exercise."  Then decision to be healthy,
then joy of movement, then anticipation of more energy, and so on.  By this
multiple meta-stating process, a gestalt will eventually  result, that is,
an emergent property will arise that is "more than and different from the
sum of the parts."  What attitude will result?  It depends on lots of
factors.  In this case, perhaps passionate commitment to exercise.

Want to know more?  Check out the 2012 book, Meta-States: Mastering the
Higher Levels of Mind.

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

               Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

               Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

               1 970-523-7877 

                    Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net

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