[Neurons] 2016 Neurons #42 Why Did I Write "Get Real?"

Wed Sep 7 14:38:08 EDT 2016

From: L. Michael Hall

2016 "Neurons" Meta Reflections - #42

September 7, 2016

WHY DID I WRITE "GET REAL?"

One week ago I put out the advertisement for the new book, Get Real:
Unleashing Your Authenticity.   I immediately had several emails and two
phone calls saying that they were surprised.  They didn't even know I was
working on that subject!  "Why did you write about getting real?" one asked.
"Why did you spend a whole book on authenticity?" asked another.  "I don't
get it," said a personal friend, "What's the big deal about authenticity,
why should I 'get real,' why is that important?"  Here are some of my
answers.

Why did you write the book, "Get Real?"

My first motivation was the discovery that authenticity is actually one of
the big secrets of coaching experts.  I first discovered that in Graham
Richardson and then, when I began looking for it, it seemed to always be
present in those who we consider experts in Coaching.  And conversely, I
realized that it was astonishing missing in those who were just learning or
who were at the mediocre level.  The best coaches challenge clients to get
real.

What else motivated you to write the book?

Maslow!  If you go back and read the original works of Abraham Maslow, you
will find that he defined self-actualization as discovering your real self.
And he believed that there is in all of us our real self but that most of us
have sold ourselves short, sold human nature short, have played small, and
don't even know our true self.  We have lost ourselves.  So if we are to
become "fully alive/ fully human" and the "best version of ourselves" and
actualize our highest and best (definitions of self-actualization), we need
to be able to discover our real self.  This also fits with the other books
on Self-Actualization and how to facilitate it.

And anything else?  Any other motivations?

Yes, the one that always motivates me to write- I want these things for
myself.  So in reading about authenticity in Maslow and others, and seeing
that this is a key in world-class coaching and unleashing one's potentials,
I wanted to apply this to myself.

What do you mean by "getting real" and "authenticity?"

The idea of getting real is the idea of being true, true to yourself, your
values, your talents, your best potentials.  Authenticity contrasts with
faking it, covering up, losing oneself in a persona and living behind a mask
or public image.  When a person does not know his true self, he is actually
living a false life and depending on how far away you are from your truth,
you could be living a lie.  And that would mean self-deception.

Why is getting real important?  What are the values of such?

One of the great values of authenticity is the aliveness that results.  When
you are real, you are truthful, you are in touch with reality, and you have
a vitality that enables you to live the life that you are made for.
Conversely, when you are not real, you are hiding ... hiding from yourself.
When you are out-of-touch with your real self, you won't have an inward
sense of knowing yourself and developing a solid confidence in living your
life fully.  When you get real and live authentically you have a solid base
from which to operate.  You are more likely to be "fully
functioning"-mentally, emotionally, relationally, etc.

What are the problems that prevent a person from becoming real?  

There are many obstacles.  Because we are social beings and become human as
we grow up in many cultures-family, school, religion, ethical, national,
business, etc. cultures, we are all significantly formed by our cultures.
So within all of us are many "voices" telling us what we should be, or must
be, and what we cannot be.  These voices are often much louder inside of us
than our own voice. Often we cannot hear our own inner voice because the
voices of family and culture drown it out.  So part of becoming real is
learning to hear our own inner voice.

Are there any other problems that stop us from getting real? 

Yes, many.  Another one is this- it is easier and quicker to live behind an
image than being real.  And today "image-management" is one of the great
substitutes for authenticity.  We hide behind personas.  We define ourselves
and sometimes lose ourselves behind titles, jobs, groups we associate with,
etc.  This weakens relationships.  Lots of relationships are not- real
people relating to real people.  Instead they are images relating to images!
How many people marry an image and then later discover the real person- who
usually doesn't fit the image they married!  They don't know each other's
heart at all.

In addition to hearing one's inner voice what does a person have to do to
become real?

There are lots of things- that's why I devoted a whole book to it- knowing
oneself, establishing a solid sense of unconditional self-esteem, committing
oneself to truth, knowing that you have many kinds and levels of "self,"
becoming courageous to live from within rather than being a shallow person
living according to what others say, learning how to bring your authenticity
to your roles, your career, your relationships, etc.  For each of these, I
have devoted an entire chapter.

When you are real- when you unleash your authenticity- life is a lot easier
and much more fun.  There's no more hiding.  There's no more need to cover
up and pretend.  Now you can focus on being your real and your best self.
Now you stop comparing yourself to others and focus on being true to
yourself and your real potentials of truth, love, justice, beauty, and all
of the other being-values.

To get your copy ---

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Buy for a friend for birthday or Christmas!

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

               Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

               Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

               1 970-523-7877 

                    Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net

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