[Neurons] 2016 "Neurons" Satir's Contributions to NLP

[L. Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2016 "Neurons" Meta Reflections - #35

July 18, 2016

Reflections about NLP #2

 

 

SATIR'S CONTRIBUTIONS TO NLP

 

In The Gestalt Base of NLP (July 11) I suggested that what became NLP was
heavily dependent on Gestalt Therapy.  After all, it arose from a "Gestalt
Class."  It was also from Fritz Perls that Bandler got his rough persona as
he modeled the person who called himself "a dirty old man."  Consequently
more was contributed to NLP by Fritz Perls than by the other two, Virginia
Satir or Milton Erickson.  

None of this is to discredit NLP, just the opposite.  It gives credit to the
sources which is what any professional does.  Acknowledging sources actually
helps to establish a field's credibility and is the way it is in any
academic field.  

 

This time I turn to the contributions that Virginia Satir made to
Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  Viriginia Satir also contributed a lot to NLP
as noted below.  And she unlike the Perls and Erickson was a constant
visitor to the early Meta groups out of which NLP arose.  Except for "the
Satir Categories," the founders did not take much from Virginia's books.  In
the history of NLP, a year after the Gestalt Class that Richard and Frank
were leading, Dr. Spitzer sent Richard to Canada for a month to record
Virginia's Family System Constellation work.  

 

1) Rapport.  As they got representational systems from Perls, they found
that they were masterfully utilized by Virginia.  My guess is that because
Virginia was such a big person (6 foot 1 or 2), she could easily have been
intimidating to people.  And that's why she learned how to match people
behaviorally and verbally.  So from her NLP announced "the structure of
rapport" -matching the behavioral outputs of people.  Later, shortly prior
to his death, Dr. Spitzer was talking with Fritz when he described Virginia.
Fritz said she was "the most nurturing person he had known." (1972, p. x).
This was also her focus.  She focused on developing nurturing people and
families as even a cursory reading of Peoplemaking reveals.

 

2) The Satir Categories.  Her focus was also on communication and from her
they reproduced "The Satir Categories" of communication: blaming, placating,
distracting, computing, and leveling (speaking assertive).  These categories
were reproduced in the early NLP books and then over the years, they were
eventually dropped.

"Communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of
relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world
about him. ...  We pay a heavy price for not seeing and not hearing
accurately as we end up by making assumptions and treating them as facts.
(p. 30, 48)

 

In Peoplemaking she went through each of the representational systems:
visual, visual-kinesthetic,  auditory, and even olfactory (35-39, 41) and
wrote extensively about how we use each in our interpersonal communications.

 

3) Systems Thinking and Working.  While Gestalt is systemic and holistic in
nature and there is some emphasis on that in Perls' writings, it was even
more prominent in Virginia's work.  After all, she is recognized as the
founder of Family Systems.  For her the family is "the factory" where the
person is made, so parents are the people-makers (p. 3). 

"The relationships in a family are extremely complex. ... You must learn how
to make that system work vitally yourself."

"What the leveling response does is make it possible for you to live as a
whole person- real, in touch with your head, your heart, your feelings, and
your body." (p. 78)

 

4) State.  Satir emphasized "states."  She used that terminology and it was
probably from her that state entered into NLP's vocabulary.  The state that
she constantly talked about was self-esteem (self-worth).  After that came
safety, fear, and anger.

"Integrity, honesty, responsibility, compassion, love- all flow easily from
the person whose pot [self-esteem pot] is high." (p. 22).

 

5) Patterns.  Satir created various exercises that today we call patterns.
There was the "Do you mean..." exercise (49-51) where people practiced
making guesses and had to continue until they get three guesses right.  She
warned about mind-reading (52) distinguishing description from judgment (55)

 

6) Not "Why?" - "How?"   As Perls made the case for not asking why and for
shifting to focus on how (as mentioned in the last article), so Satir
presented the same emphasis. Again, this did not originate with Richard or
John.

"Understanding the system helps peole to ask 'how' questions instead of
'why' questions.  You know how hard you have to work with a 'why' question
so it doesn't come out sounding like a blame question. ... 'How' questions
get information and understanding, 'whys' produce defensiveness." (p. 119)

 

7) Parts, Parts Parties, Integration.  A significant contribution from Satir
was her emphasis on integration and, of course, her "Parts Parties" were
designed specifically for that.   From this came the talk in NLP about
"parts" and the patterns for integrating parts.  This was a big part of
Volume II of The Structure of Magic, and one of the patterns presented there
(Vol. II, p. 74-76).

 

8) Positive Intention.  One of the premises of NLP is that "behind all
behavior are positive intentions."  The positive intention may not be at the
first level of intention, it may be two or three or even more levels up
(intention of intention), yet it is there.  Satir operated from this and may
have been the original source of that presupposition. 

"I have never found a human being who was all bad.  Such a violent man isn't
all bad.  It takes a good deal of maturity and understanding on the part of
an adult to recognize this." (p. 183)

 

Steve Andreas noted this in his book on Virginia Satir:

"One of the most powerful aspects of Virginia's work was her assumption that
everyone's intentions were positive, no matter how horrible the behavior
was..." (1991, p. 4)

9) Well-Formed Outcome.  Steve Andreas modeled 16 of Virginia's patterns in
his book about her.  What he writes suggests that the NLP Well-Formed
Outcome pattern came from her.

"Virginia's work was guided by the basic outcome questions: What do you
want?  How ill you know when you've got it?  What stops you now? What do you
need in order to get it.  She also understood that the answers to these
questions have to be specific in sensory-based terms..." (1991, p. 3)

 

10) Mind-Reading.

If there was a language pattern that Virginia was always sniffing out and
challenging, it was mind-reading.  With families and couples, she considered
it the biggest destroyer of communication, intimacy, and understanding.

"You don't really know what I am sensing, what I am feeling, what my past
is, what my values are and exactly what my body is doing.  You have only
guesses and fantasies, and I have the same about you.  Unless the guesses
and fantasies are checked out, they become 'the facts' and as such can often
lead to traps and ruptures." (1972, p. 33)

"Listening and looking require one's full attention.  We pay a heavy price
for not seeing and not hearing accurately as we end up by making assumptions
and treating them as facts. ...  How easy it is to misunderstand someone by
making assumptions about what he meant.  This can have serious results ...
This brings us to what I consider one of hte most impossible hurdles in
human relationships.  That is the assumption that you always know what I
mean.  The premise appears to be that if we love each other, we also can and
should read each others minds." (1972, p. 48, 50, 53)

 

11. Meta-Questioning.

Now while meta-questioning did not originate in NLP, we originated it in
Meta-Coaching, the founders could have discovered it.  They were close to
discovering it, very close.

"This new question, which is characteristic of Satir's work, is: 'How do you
feel about your feelings about what is happening?'  Consider this question
in the light of the Meta-Model.  This is essentially a request on the part
of the therapist for the client to say how he feels about his reference
structure-his model of the world..." (The Structure of Magic, Volume I, p.
161).

 

With a question like this, Virginia was able to "go meta" and get to the
frames above and beyond the experience.  "How do you feel (a meta-feeling)
about your feelings (your first-level primary feelings) about what is
happening (the experience out there in the world)?"

 

Sources:

Peoplemaking (1972), Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books, Inc.

Changing with Families (1976), Virginia Satir, Richard Bandler, John
Grinder, Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books, Inc.

Virginia Satir: the Patterns of her Magic, (1991), Steve Andreas, Palo Alto,
CA: Science and Behavior Books, Inc.

 

 

 




 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

               Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

               Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

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