[Neurons] 2013 Meta Reflections #40

[L. Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

Meta Reflections 2013  #40

Sept 9, 2013

Making Self-Actualization Actionable #3

 

 

COURAGEOUS RESPONSIBILITY

PRACTICAL

SELF-ACTUALIZATION

 

 

The first benchmark, according to Abraham Maslow, for living the
self-actualizing life is a total absorption into a being-valued
significance- the personal "genius" state of flow.  The second and third
ones focused on the ability to exercise one's power of choice as you live
your life responsibly.  Maslow spoke about choosing growth and choosing
one's way as you learn to listen to your own internal voice.  Now for the
fourth and fifth benchmarks. 

 

4) Taking responsibility for Self 

"When in doubt, be honest rather than not. ... 'When in doubt" covers us so
we need not argue too much about diplomacy.  Frequently, when we are in
doubt we are not honest. ... then playing games and posing. ... Looking
within oneself for many of the answers implies taking responsibility.  That
is in itself a great step toward actualization.  This matter of
responsibility has been little studied ...  Yet it is an almost tangible
part of psychotherapy.  In psychotherapy, one can see it, can feel it, can
know the moment of responsibility.  Then there is a clear knowing of what it
feels like.  This is one of the great steps.  Each time one takes
responsibility, this is an actualizing of the self." (45)

 

The doubt here is a doubt about yourself and what to do to be your best
self.  So when you are in doubt about actualizing yourself, how do you
respond?  Maslow says, "Be honest."  This is a call to be real.  He also
notes that most people are not.  Instead of honestly stating what's going on
for us, we play games.  We posture ourselves and worry about what people
will think of us and so we put on masks to cover-up our doubt.  But
posturing behind the PR that you've created for yourself or losing yourself
in your own press is how you can lose yourself- lose your real self.  Yet if
we're serious about living the self-actualizing life, it is at those very
moments when taking responsibility for ourselves enables us to be true and
honest with ourselves. 

 

"Responsibility" here is another meta-state- it is the state of accessing
your innate powers for responding to the world and events.  Then, from that
awareness, you accept and take ownership to your response-powers.  Doing
this creates the gestalt of a very special state, a complex state that we
call responsibility.  Maslow says that doing this is, in itself, "a great
step toward actualization" and that it is "act actualizing of the self."

 

We stress this in Neuro-Semantics by using the Meta-Stating Pattern of
accessing, owning, and developing our fundamental state of our "power zone."
This is based on recognizing that all of our powers boils down to four
powers and these four powers make up every "power," every resource, and
every skill.  This de-mystifies "responsibility" and issues in a very
specific awareness where you response-ability begins and ends.  It begins
within you- in your very thinking-and-emoting and it extends to what you can
say-and-do.  beyond that, you may have influence, but not control.
"Control" of your response-power ends in what you are "able" to say and do.

 

What does "taking responsibility for yourself" mean?  It means recognizing
and owning that what you transmit by speaking and doing is your response and
you cannot transfer to that to others.  It is yours.  No matter what
influencing factors or contributing factors you can point to as you attempt
to "explain" your actions and words- ultimately, they are yours.  Fully
accepting that is an act of self-actualization.  Blaming and fault-finding
in others or in situations blocks self-actualization.

 

5) Courageously Be Oneself - Listen and Speak as Yourself

"We have talked of experiencing without self-awareness, of making the growth
choice rather than the fear choice, of listening to the impulse voices, and
of being honest and taking responsibility.  All these are steps toward
self-actualization, and all of them guarantee better life choices." (45)

 

Using an illustration from "the art world," Maslow described the experience
of being captured by a small group of opinion-makers.  To be influenced by
them is to focus on what you think that you should value and appreciate
instead of what you actually do think and value.  Instead, "We must teach
people to listen to their own tastes.  Most people don't do it."  And why
not?  Fear.  Fear of being ridiculed or put down.  To listen to our own
voice and tastes takes courage.  To be honest with ourselves and with others
takes courage.

"Making an honest statement involves daring to be different, unpopular,
non-conformist.  . . .  To be courageous rather than afraid is another
version of the same thing." (46)

 

This courage describes a facet of self-actualizing which involves embracing
change and challenge.  The courage to be oneself is the courage to grow, to
keep on learning, and to develop.  To do this, acknowledge your uniqueness
and look within for what you have to give to the world.  And this requires
the courage to be self-referent in terms of "authority" rather than
external.  That is, in terms of being the "author" of one's life, do we look
within or outside?  We are all born with an external-authority reference
sort and part of growing up and taking responsibility means bringing it in
so that we have an internal-authority sort with an external check.  

 

 




 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

                Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

                Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

                1 970-523-7877 

                Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net


     

    

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