[Neurons] 2013 Meta Reflections #15

[L. Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

Meta Reflections 2013  #15

March 23, 2013

 

 

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL

ABOUT COACHING?

 

 

I returned to my home in Colorado this past week and in returning lots of
calls to people, I had the opportunity to talk to lots of people about both
the Meta-Coaching System and the Neuro-Semantic Conference in Malaysia this
year which we have designated a "Coaching Conference" with 18 workshops ...
all of them related to the field of Coaching.  One person seemed to be
genuinely surprised that we are devoting the Second International Conference
of Neuro-Semantics to Coaching, and asked why.  "What's the big deal about
Coaching?"

 

At the same time, my daughter Jessica returned home so that we could catch
up ... and when I showed her the colorful brochure on the Conference, she
also seemed surprised that we were devoting the whole thing to coaching.
"Why?" she asked.

"The reason why is because what we call coaching is really about being a
professional communicator which begins with really, really listening, and
then enabling people to sense that we care about what they said and think,
and then asking the kind of probing, penetrating, and incisive questions
that can get to the heart of things quickly and powerfully.  It also means
listening and calibrating so precisely that you can mirror back their own
responses so that people can actually hear and listen to themselves."

 

Of course, in saying that, I was really summarizing the seven core coaching
skills that we train and benchmark in the Meta-Coaching System.  With
several of the people I talked to, I seemed to have an interested audience,
so I continued.

"And when you can do that, then with your communications you can manage,
lead, interview, consult, and do many other things that are of high value in
companies and organizations.  And of course, you can coach, and you also
have the foundational skills for counseling and psychotherapy.  These are
the essential skills that supervisor and managers and even senior managers
need.  They are the skills for selling, skills that anyone leading an
organization needs in selling ideas and proposals.  So that's why."

 

In one of the discussions, after I said all of this, the person asked,
"Well, what about conflict?  And when I inquired a little further about what
he meant, he said, "What about dealing with groups in conflict or even just
with one person who is hard to get along with or lead, who is always
complaining and bad-mouthing others?"

"Well, yes.  That's where the mirroring skills really become powerful for
constructive confrontation.  First you calibrate to the person by receiving
what they are saying, how they are saying it, and all of the non-verbal
expressions that they use, then after some framing, you mirror it back so
that the person can see and hear themselves- they can see and hear
themselves as in a mirror, the mirror of your eyes."

"And that works?  They don't get madder because of that?"

"Would you like me to mirror that back to you? ["Yes, okay."] And you are in
a good enough state of mind and emotion to receive it? ["Yeah, sure."] Then
what I just heard you say in a questioning tone of voice that sounded like
this, 'And that works?' And as you said it, your nose scrunched up like this
(repeating what I saw) and your eyes went up like this (mirroring back what
I saw) as you said, 'And that works?'  (Pause) ...  Okay, so how was that?"

 

That was pretty good I guess.  But, of course, I wasn't upset in the first
place.

"Yes, I sensed that.  And that is also why I asked the framing questions to
make sure that you truly wanted the feedback and that you were ready for
it."

 

"Oh, that's what you mean by framing!"

"Yes, as a communication process, framing enables the person or persons you
speak to to have a way of interpreting what you're saying so that it serves
and enhances the interaction.  It gives them, in technical terms, an
interpretative schema so that they will be much less likely to mis-interpret
what you offer.  And it's one of the powerful tools that coach or any
professional communicator uses.  If what you have to say could be
mis-interpreted, if it could 'push a button' and get someone upset or if it
could be used against you later, framing helps to prevent that."

 

"So that's the big deal about coaching!  It's really just communication
skills- it's just a way to make yourself more clear and precise so that
there's less mis-understandings and confusion?  Is that right?"

"Well, yes, although I wouldn't use the word just as you did.  It is so much
more than 'just communication skills,' it is some of the highest and most
advanced skills on this planet, the ability to create mental clarity and
precision, to align people to a common vision, to excite and inspire people
to step up to the possibilities of their potentials, and to take the quality
of their experiences and their very lives to the peak of human possibilities
... so it is so much more than just communication skills."

 

"Okay!  When you put it like that - sign me up.  When is that conference or
when is the next Meta-Coach training?"

 

                                                

 

 

THE INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE OF NEURO-SEMANTICS

.         June 21, 22, 23 - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

.         Sponsor:  Hj Md Taib Mat, MTM Consultants Sdn Bhd. 

                        Fax : 03-5513-4461 or email mtm at akademinlp.com 

.         See information at www.neurosemantics.com . see Brochure and
Registration form.

 

META-COACHING SYSTEM --- TRAININGS DURING 2013

.         See www.meta-coaching.org  for Brochure

.         See www.neurosemantics.com - Trainings - Dr. Hall's Schedule 

.         Next Module III for ACMC credentials --- Sydney Australia, then
Oslo Norway, then Hong Kong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

                Neuro-Semantics Executive Director 

                Neuro-Semantics International

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO. 81520 USA                             

                1 970-523-7877 

                Dr. Hall's email:
<mailto:meta at acsol.net\hich\af31506\dbch\af31505\loch\f31506> meta at acsol.net


     

    

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