[Neurons] 2009 Meta Reflections #11

[L. Michael Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2009 Meta Reflections #11

March 9, 2009

 

 

 

UPGRADING TIME-LINES

TO META-STATES

 

 

I told someone this past week that I very seldom use the old NLP time-line
patterns and they said they were seriously surprised.  "Why not?  You wrote
a book on time-lines!"  And true enough, Bob Bodenhamer and I did wrote a
book on Time-Lines.  In fact, Time-Lining: Adventures in Time is the only
NLP book that is exclusively devoted to time-lines.  Even the original book
in the field of NLP on time, Time-Line Therapy by Tad James and Wyatt
Woodsmall, was not exclusively about time-lines.  Half of that book was
devoted to Meta-Programs.

 

So why don't I use time-line patterns very often?  Primarily because I don't
need to.  Nor does Bob.  When you know the Meta-States Model and what you
can do with it-you don't need to go through all the trouble of accessing a
person's representations of time, get them to visualize a time-line, ask
them to float above it, or use the hypnotic or semi-hypnotic processes of
time-lining.  Instead, you can use a few meta-questions, discover the
person's frame (or matrix of frames) and then meta-state them directly or
indirectly, explicitly or covertly to set frames that change the experience.
That's when my questioner asked,

"Well, how would you meta-state someone who had something very negative
happen to them in the past?"

 

I usually just set some frames conversationally that gives the person new
resources.  It's much simplier.  Do you have a specific instance in mind?  I
asked.  The person did.  "Okay, you be that person and I'll respond to you."
He was game for an exchange.

 

"So you've gone through something pretty negative in the past and somehow it
is still influencing you?" ["Yes.']  "What are you experiencing today?"

"I am afraid of rejection.  I hold back and don't ask for things.  I don't
do anything that might bring on criticism.  In fact, I'm real sensitive to
criticism."

 

To ground the experience in today's reality, I asked some grounding
questions.  "Are you afraid of rejection this very minute ... with me? ["No,
I feel comfortable with you."] So when do you feel the fear and with whom?"
[Current versus past frame]

"When I think about a girl, you know, a woman."

 

"Yes they are very scary creatures.  I often hear the suspenseful music of a
horror movie, you know-a dark, rainy night, and I have the sense of being in
a cementary late a night when warewolves and aliens are out.  Sometimes I
hear the Jaws' music.  But that's me, what do you find so fearful about
females?" [Humor frame]

"[Smiling]  Well, when I think about talking to one, or asking them out, I
get nervous and I start sweating, and then I know that I'll stumble over my
words and remember how my dad used to make me feel so small and inadequate
and would laugh at me."

 

"So how old do you feel as you say that?  Are there any movies flickering on
in your mind as you are speaking?" [Self-creation frame]

"Yes, of my dad and then of some times when I got nervous around women. ...
I think I am feeling about 6, and then like 13 or so."

 

"Okay, so you know how to scare yourself and get your body all worked up in
fear.  Good for you!  How skilled are you in doing this? ...  Are you a
master as scaring yourself?" [Experience accessing as a skill frame]

"Hmmmm.  Well I am pretty good at it." [Smiling]

 

"So do you like this? [No.] Well, have you had enough of this?  Maybe you
need to do this for another five years? [No, I've had enough.] But are you
sure? [Decision and personal choice frame]  Maybe you need this to protect
yourself from scary women and all the terrible things they can do to you!
Sure it starts with holding hands and kissing, but then it could work up to
touching and love making. Horror of horrors!" [Humor frame]

"[Laughing] Yes that would be terrible. ... Yes I'm ready."

 

"Are you ready to face those fears and stop taking counseling of your fears
as if experiencing that emotion is the worst thing in the world?  Are you
ready to just accept the fear, welcome it in, examine it and notice if you
need to listen to it or not?" [Acceptance and Exploration-with-curiosity
frames]

"You mean just accept it?"

 

"Sure.  What else do you now just accept as something to put up with that
once upon a time you might have fought and worked yourself up about?  Maybe
like just accepting the traffic?" [Accessing acceptance frame]

"Yeah, I used to get really angry and frustrated when there was a lot of
traffic and now I just listen to some music and tell myself, 'There's
nothing you can do about it anyway, just relax and don't work yourself up.'"

 

"And you just accept it...? [Yeah.] And as you recall that right now, are
you feeling the sense of acceptance ... and notice your breath ... of
acceptance and muscle tension ... [Yeah.] Okay, so as you are with that
feeling ... feel it while you think about your fear of females ... okay, and
just notice what happens." [Application of acceptance frame]

"Well, nothing.  I just feel concerned."

 

"And how much fear is there now?  From 0 to 10 where are you? [A 3.] So with
a 3 can you now face the fear and take the actions you need to take to say
hello and have a calm conversation anyway?" [Gauging intensity of an emotion
frame; saying Hello frame]

"Yeah."

 

"What other resource do you need?  I feel very generous today, so if you'd
like playfulness, curiosity, respect, appreciation, confidence, courage, or
boldness, I'm willing to let you apply any of these to your
fear-of-speaking-to-females state as well." [Resource or humor frames]

"Actually I think just accepting the fear is enough."

 

"What about your dad?  What about feeling 6 or 13 years old?  Will any of
that stop you?"

"No."

 

At that point we stopped the role play.  He said he got it,  "Frames are
truly powerful, aren't they for creating transformation?"

 

 

 

Training Updates:

 

We are now taking reservations for the Meta-Coach Training in Colorado in
June.  Write to ask for information or a brochure. 

 

No word on Trainers' Training yet; we'll make the final determination in
about 3 weeks.  If interested, do let me know.  meta at onlinecol.com 

 

 

 

 




L.  Michael Hall, Ph.D.

International Society of Neuro-Semantics

Meta-Coach Training System

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO.  81520 USA

1 970-523-7877

1 970-523-5790 fax

      <http://www.neurosemantics.com/> www.neurosemantics.com 

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www.neuro-semantics-trainings.com 

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       <http://www.meta-coaching.org/> www.meta-coaching.org

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