[Neurons] 2009 Meta Refletions #5

[Dr. Hall]

From: L. Michael Hall

2009 Meta Reflections #5

February 2, 2009

 

Preparing for a Meta New Year

   Part V

 

GOALS AND EPIPHENOMENA

 

In the last Meta Reflection, I noted that there are some goals are not to be
pursued-least not directly.  That's because some experiences are not
responsive volitionally to our goals and intentions (e.g., sleeping,
happiness).  I mentioned happiness because happiness is an epiphenomenon,
that is, a by-product of doing and achieving something of importance.  So
what other goals could you set that are actually epiphenomena?  

 

When a goal is a result of something else and only emerges after you first
achieve certain conditions, it's those conditions that you should set as
your goals.  About this Maslow mentioned this insight in his study of
self-actualizing people:

"The only happy people I know are the ones who are working well at something
they consider important."

 

So to effectively pursue happiness, set as your goal that of working well at
something important. You'll then more likely experience happiness.  So set a
goal to work with more excellence at the things you do.  Or set a goal to
improve your ability to give importance (meaning) to things so that you make
they become more important to you.  The emotional epiphenomenon of happiness
will more likely then come your way.  Searching for happiness directly is
inherently self-defeating because you are going after something but missing
the conditions that actually create it. 

 

If this is the case with goals, what other goals should you not go after
directly?  I hinted at another whole range of goals when I mentioned the
foolishness of pursuing any "emotion" in the last Reflection.  This is how I
ended that Reflection:

"Emotions are derivative rather than volitionally responsive.   While we can
anchor a state and use our body to elicit an emotional response, emotions
generally are functions of the relationship between our mental maps about
things and the experiences we have."

 

Another experience that is an epiphenomenon is confidence.  Too many people
simply want to feel confident as if that is a legitimate goal in and of
itself.  It is not.  Confidence without competence is fool's goal.  Even if
you were able to get yourself to "feel confident" at will, if you are not
competent about the desired skill, the confidence will be wrong-headed and
patently false.  You may feel good, but your good feeling will be empty and
when you attempt the skill you'll look like a fool.  In fact, it will only
be a matter of time when you'll be seen for your foolishness.  Plus, there
are too many incompetent people already on the planet who foolishly think
they are competent in some skill when they are not!  Yet because they feel
confident, they don't sense any need to continue learning and development!
Talk about a feel-good stuck state!

 

To pursue confidence, first identify the skills necessary to be competent in
your chosen area.  What competencies do you need in order to successfully
operate in that domain?  Then set your goal to learn and practice those
skills-set your goal to accept and be with the discomfort, awkwardness,
stress, and strangeness.  Those feelings are just epiphenomena emotions of
your incompetence state and are the stepping stones to competence which will
later reward you with legitimate feelings of confidence.  So similar to
Richard Bandler's comment that "confusion is the gateway to learning,"
feeling awkward and uncomfortable are the stepping stones to confidence.

 

When you become competent in your skills, you'll feel confident.  Confidence
will be the reward of your development.  It will result from achieving the
immediate goals of targeting a skill-set that will enable your performance.

 

Goals like these-seeking happiness or confidence are "paradoxical" because
they are legitimate only when they result from certain conditions.  Skips
the conditions and you create shallow and empty version.  That's why the
inner game alone is insufficient.  Imagination is important, but not more
important than action.  Mere imagination creates the inner game, but if you
don't act on it, it is just a dream, just fantasy.

 

Several years ago I made several presentations at various bookstores in the
central business district of Sydney Australia.  It was a promotional tour
for one of the new books and for some trainings that we were doing in Sydney
at the time.  At one bookshop the subject was Wealth Creation and I
mentioned the inner game of having a good strategy as your game plan and
talked about vividly imagining it.  When time came for questions and
answers, a backpacker asked,

"If I can create a great mental movie in my mind of the end result of
creating wealth, imagining myself on the beach, reading and talking with
friends, and enjoying myself and then step into that movie and fully
experience it, why then go to all the bother of actually following the plan?
Why not just enjoy the mental movie and feel great?"

 

When people do pursue such paradoxical goals directly, typically they find
upon reaching their goals, the experiences are empty.  That's because the
emotion of happiness or confidence will be a pseudo-expression and not
substantially grounded on something that will give a solid sense of these
emotions.

 

So, what do you want?  What's your goal?  Is it a real and legitimate goal
or is it an epiphenomenon of a goal, a secondary effect that comes from
reaching your goal?  Merely to experience an "emotion" is the simplest and
cheapest thing.  You can get that through drugs.  Or hypnosis.  Or a shallow
use of NLP.  And it's fast.  And it saves you all of the work and effort and
discipline and planning and development and growth and learning and
unleashing of potentials!   Just take the drug, get hypnotized, or anchor a
state.  But, of course, the "emotion" will not be as legitimate expression
as what you'll experience if you meet the required conditions for confidence
and happiness in your area of excellent.

 

To your substantial Confidence and Happiness!

 

 

L.  Michael Hall, Ph.D.

International Society of Neuro-Semantics

Meta-Coach Training System

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO.  81520 USA

1 970-523-7877

1 970-523-5790 fax

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