[Neurons] Meta Reflection #54

[meta]

L. Michael Hall

Meta Reflections #54

Dec. 11, 2007 



THE ART OF CHASING YOUR TAIL





Sometimes when a person is frustrated in the attempt to solve a problem will use a metaphor as expressed in the title of this Reflection, "I feel like I'm chasing my tail." What does this mean? It means that in some way the person feels that he or she is going round and round in circles in attempting to solve the difficulty and yet getting nowhere. Yesterday I heard this metaphor.

A group at the Self-Actualization Workshops here in Italy were working on some "problem" that someone had said they would to address in order to stay in the zone. Immediately when they said that they were going round and round and round, I knew that the kind of problem that they were working on was not a real problem, but a paradox. This is the nature of paradoxes. We go round in circles with a paradox because we're trying to nail down a problem and it refuses to be nailed down.

Actually this happened both last week in France and this weekend here in Italy in the Self-Actualization Workshop. Someone presented a "problem," and when the others in the group began honing in with the precision questions of the Meta-Model to nail it, just as soon as they seemed to be getting somewhere, suddenly the "problem" shifted and it was something else. Something different. So they went after that asking about when it occurs, where, with whom, in what way, how is it a problem, and again just about the time that they think they are getting ready to create a well-formed problem, poof!, the "problem" changes again and so round and round and round we go trying to figure it out.

In each case we had to stop, but more typically in real life, this tends to go on for weeks, months, years and eventually almost everybody begins to feel that it is a problem with no solution. No escape from the frame. So it induces strong feelings of disillusionment, powerlessness, helplessness. And as the would-be problem-solvers feel more and more powerless to help, they sense that the situation is unsolvable. This, of course, is yet another indication of the presence of paradox, the sense of "damned if I do and damned if I don't."

So what is a paradox? On the surface a paradox seems to be the contradiction of two opposites. Two ideas, two behaviors, two choices are in conflict and work as contradictions to each other.

A classical paradox is the one that Paul quotes in the New Testament, "A Cretian said, 'All Cretians are liars.'" The problem is that if it is true that all Cretians are liars, and a Cretian said that, then he lied. So actually, all Cretians are not liars. But if they are not all liars, then it is a lie that all Cretians are liars. And so the spin begins! Because on the surface level, the statement contains a contradiction so that it cannot both be true or false.

Another classic paradox is the "be spontaneous" paradox. Suppose a wife wants her husband to be more romantic with her and wants him to be romantic because he wants to be romantic. Yet what happens when she tells him, "I want you to be more romantic, but it has to come spontaneously from you." If he obeys her request, he's not be spontaneous. But if he does not obey, then he does not engage in the romantic behavior that she wants. So he decides to do it but doesn't feel spontaneous because it was her idea, not his. That undermines his romance feelings, so he stops, but then he's not being romantic. And as he spins round and round, he is "damned if he does, damned if he does not." Paradox.

These paradoxes seem to contain contradictions. Actually, they do not. The so-called and seeming contradictions are not truly contradictions. They only arise when we try to frame them as occurring on the same level. And that's the key. Thinking of them horizontally on the same level-that is the problem. When we do not do that, but separate the levels within the statements, the seeming contradictions disappear and the so-called paradoxes go away.

To solve the paradox, meta-state the levels. Distinguish between the classification and the members of the class. That is, recognize that there are levels of thought and awareness involved so that you can stop confusing levels.

When the Cretian says, "All Cretians are liars" he is not including himself and his statement as members of the class of "Cretian lies." His statement is at a higher level to the statement. It is about something else.

Have you heard about the book that has the title, "This book has no title!" Does it have a title? Yes, of course, it has a title. The title is, "This book has no Title!" The title itself is not a member of the class, it is the name of the class. So the class of elephants is not an elephant, it is a linguistic term, "elephant." It is when we attempt to make the classification a member of itself that we begin going round in circles.

The romance-desiring wife who wants spontaneous romancing creates with that structure a double-bind that cannot be responded to in that way. She's using a "request" to request that which cannot arises as a-response-to-a-request. So the form of the request itself is the problem and creates a contradiction which locks a person into a frame where it cannot succeed. Bateson identified this structure as the kind of double-bind that creates the craziness in schizophrenia where a person splits himself to be able to handle the contradictions (see The Bateson Report).

One example of a so-called paradoxical contradiction that arose in the Self-Actualization Workshop in Avignon was this. "I cannot sell myself or set high prices for my services without feeling guilty because I'm not have enough self-esteem as a person; but I need to sell myself as a coach and trainer to make a living and meet my basic needs." Those who were trying to pin down the "real problem" and get a well-formed problem kept going in circles. They even started offering suggestions that would solve one side or the other side of the contradictions. "Anchor a good feeling about selling." "Try something other than coaching." "Expand your skills so you have more value." 

But all of that is within the frame of the classification that creates the problem. What was that frame? It was the frame that "What I do as a person in business in selling my services determines and reflects my value as a human being." On the same horizontal level being and doing are in contrast, conflict, and contradiction. Yet what we are as human beings and what we do are different logical levels. Recognizing that what we do is a member of the class of being begins to sort out the levels so the paradox disappears.

Then what seems complex becomes simple. The solution is really simple. Separate the confused levels. Recognize the distinction between the meta-level of a classification and the primary-level of a member of that class.


It is the process of taking a classification and confusing it with a primary level experiences that we create contradictions and paradoxes. Yet these are just "creatures of the mind," creatures we create and then respond to as if they are real. Take any belief about anything and confuse that with anything at the sensory-base see-hear-feel level and, presto!, you have yourself a paradoxical problem.

So, the next time you hear someone (including yourself) confuse a belief with a sensory detail, suspect that you may be in the presence of a paradox. "If I raise my fees that will make me materialistic and selfish." "If she turns me down for a date, it will make me such a fool for asking." "If I say I will take that speaking engagement, I could mess up and ruin my reputation forever."

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The Ultimate Self-Actualization Workshop: Unleashing Potentials for Peak Performance is the newest Neuro-Semantic Training . In preparing for the launch of the New Human Potential Movement-for May 2008, we began the Self-Actualization Workshops around the world beginning in the USA, then Australia, South Africa, Mexico, Switzerland, England, France, Italy and other places

In May 2008 we are anticipating a dozen or two dozen Neuro-Semantic Trainers along with me to launch the new human potential movement.



2007 Schedule 

11) Dec. 7, 8, and 9, 2007. Italy, Bologna. Sponsored by an Institute of Neuro-Semantics and Lucia Guiovannini and Nicola Riva. lucia at blessyouitalia.eu nicola at blessyouitalia.eu www.blessyouitalia.eu +39 348 229 2562.

2008

1) April 4-7, Portland OR. sponsored by Apositiva, Rich Aanrich and Cat Wilson (www.apositivechange.com rich at apositivechange.com). (503) 525-0595. 

2) May 17-19. ID Com. International, Montreal Canada. Isabell David. Phone: 450-224-5398 / 514-815-5457. idcom at cgocable.ca / idcom at idcominter.com

Web: www.idcominter.com. This training will be delivered in English and simultaneously translated to French. 80% of the participants in 2007 spoke both English and French; with 20% speaking only French and 10% speaking only English.  The translation is simultaneous translation.  Come and enjoy a taste and feel of Europe in Montreal as you self-actualize.








L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
Neuro-Semantics Ltd., Executive Director
ISNS - International Society of Neuro-Semantics
P.O. Box 8
Clifton, Colorado, 81520 USA
www.neurosemantics.com 
www.meta-coaching.org
www.self-actualizing.org 

Email: meta @onlinecol.com @acsol.net @mindfocus.co.za
(970) 523-7877
(970) 523-5790 FAX
(877) 686-2867 toll free in the USA only
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