[Neurons] Meta Reflection #50

[meta]

L. Michael Hall

Meta Reflections #50

November 12, 2007 

Unlearning Series #4


UNLEARNING 

AND EGO-INVESTMENTS



Two questions have arisen repeatedly in the past 3 weeks regarding what I wrote in the past Meta Reflections about unlearning.

C The first one is, What makes unlearning so difficult?

C The second one is, What is the crucible, what are you referring to, and where can I read more about the crucible? 

About the Crucible, there is a chapter about that in the new book, Unleashed: A Guide to Your Ultimate Self-Actualization. We devote a full day (day 2) on the Crucible in the Self-Actualization Workshop which I and other Neuro-Semantic Trainers are now presenting. You can also now see Day 2 about the crucible in the DVD that Tom Welch has created of that training (www.nlp-video.com). Regarding what a "crucible" is generally, simply google the term and you will see all types and shapes of crucibles used in industry and in art studios.

Now for the more difficult question, What about unlearning? Why is it often so difficult? What creates that difficulty? What can make it less difficult; even easier? 

What challenges our ability to unlearn are our ego-investments. This refers to how we can become invested-mentally, emotionally, and experientially-in our ideas, concepts, understandings, beliefs, and so on. Whenever we invest effort to learn something, whenever we invest our energies to act on some idea, whenever we put our reputation on the line about a belief by making a public statement-we turn the object into one of our ego-investments.

I often hear about this when someone at the critical point of a choice point. They have identified a limiting belief, usually a very toxic one, one that has severely hold them back and impoverished their life. Finding it, identifying it, recognizing it for what it is through the "quality controlling" of a frame (or belief) puts them at a significant cross-roads. Have they had enough of it? Will they give it up? Will they refuse it? Will they say "hell no!" to it and be done with it?

That's the existential question and crisis. Often at that very point the person will turn to me and ask, "But who will I be if I release this?" "Will not all my life up until now be in vain if I do this?" "I feel scared because I don't know what will replace this belief!"

Our ego-investments refer to how we invest ourselves into various ideas, values, ways of operating in the world, ways of thinking about ourselves and living within a certain self-image, etc. This is our first frame, our first belief. Then we begin to semantically load it. At an even higher level we then begin to believe in our belief. And that is what actually does the damage.

Believing is one thing. It is committing ourselves to something, saying that something is "true, real for us," and "the way it is." In believing, we commit ourselves to that idea or concept or self-definition. That's all good and fine. Our beliefs send "commands" to the nervous system which will attempt to actualize it, that is, "make it real" for us. And believe we must. Beliefs enable us to test things, see what works, what does not. Beliefs get us involved in living.

Believing is not the problem. The problem begins when we believe in our beliefs (a meta-state structure). When you do that, you close the door to any new or different ideas, you become as Eric Hoffer described, "a true believer," that is, a fanatic. While a belief is one level of investing yourself into an idea and set of actions, believing in your belief means that you closing the door to learning, to feedback, to continual searching, and that you are now totally ego-invested in your belief. This changes everything.

For example, suppose we begin with a belief in God. That's one thing. But suppose you then believe in your belief about God. Do that and you now are actually believing more in your beliefs than God. So like the Pharisees of old, you are more committed to your beliefs about God than God. In the case of the Pharisees, this made them rigid, closed-minded, head-strong, and blind to new facts and evidence. It made them fools.

This structure of believing in our beliefs makes one a fundamentalist, that is, a closed-minded and dogmatic fanatic who refuses to learn and who thinks that he or she cannot be wrong. But the truth is-we all can be wrong and are wrong many times every day. We are fallible beings. We have fallible brains and bodies and that makes us highly "liable to error." Refusing to acknowledge this indicates a form of ego-investment; we have to be right; our beliefs have to be true.

The funny thing about this believing in our beliefs is the subtle shift it creates. When it comes to God, other people, or activities that you believe in, once you believe in your belief about the belief, you no longer need faith. Now you "know." Now there's no doubt. No question.

Yet belief or faith is just that- a belief in something, a trusting commitment to the content of whatever you believe. If you knew it, if there was incontrovertible evidence- faith would not be required. Knowledge would be required. Science would be required.

Ego-investments-we all have them. It's part of being human. When we find and experience the good things in life, even good ideas, concepts, understandings, etc., we invest ourselves in them. And so we should. Yet in believing in whatever we believe in, we must resist the temptation to jump a logical level and believe in our belief. Doing that gets too much ego invested and then learning something new or different becomes almost impossible. Then unlearning what we had learned and believed-well, that becomes very difficult.

The solution? Believe and keep the doors of learning, discovering, growing, refining, doubting, questioning, exploring, etc. open. Keep them wide open. Become a searching believer!  [For more about beliefs, go to www.neurosemantics.com and under New Articles on the far right of your screen, click on The Magical Nature of Beliefs.]

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The Ultimate Self-Actualization Workshop: Unleashing Potentials for Peak Performance is the newest Neuro-Semantic Training . We launched it at the beginning of 2007 and have now presented it in the USA, Australia, South Africa, Mexico, Switzerland and other places. In May 2008 - many other Neuro-Semantic Trainers besides myself will be launching the new human potential movement. Look for workshops, seminars, and presentations in your area. If you want to sponsor the Self-Actualization Workshop, write to me privately. 

2007 Schedule 

8) Nov. 20-22, Lisbon, Portugal. EvoluiTech Formacao e consultoria. Amalia Duarte, aduarte at evoluitech.pt 

9) Nov. 23-24, London, England, NLP Conference. Jo Hogg, Director, jo at nlpconference.co.uk. Three hour workshop: Actualizing Your Highest and Best.

10) Nov. 30 - Dec. 3, 2007. Avignon, France sponsored by Formation Evolution et Synergie and Gilles Roy, Neuro-Semantic and NLP Trainer. gilles.roy2 at orange.fr www.coaching-pnl.com 33 (0) 4 90 16 04 16. 

11) Dec. 7, 8, and 9, 2007. Italy, Bologna. Sponsored by an Institute of Neuro-Semantics and Lucia Guiovannini and Nicola Riva. lucia at blessyouitalia.eu nicola at blessyouitalia.eu www.blessyouitalia.eu +39 348 229 2562.

2008

1) April 4-7, Portland OR. sponsored by Apositiva, Rich Aanrich and Cat Wilson (www.apositivechange.com rich at apositivechange.com). (503) 525-0595. 

2) May 17-19. ID Com. International, Montreal Canada. Isabell David. Phone: 450-224-5398 / 514-815-5457. idcom at cgocable.ca / idcom at idcominter.com

Web: www.idcominter.com. This training will be delivered in English and simultaneously translated to French. 80% of the participants in 2007 spoke both English and French; with 20% speaking only French and 10% speaking only English. Come and enjoy a taste and feel of Europe in Montreal as you self-actualize.



L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
Neuro-Semantics Ltd., Executive Director
ISNS - International Society of Neuro-Semantics
P.O. Box 8
Clifton, Colorado, 81520 USA
www.neurosemantics.com 
www.meta-coaching.org
www.self-actualizing.org 

Email: meta @onlinecol.com @acsol.net @mindfocus.co.za
(970) 523-7877
(970) 523-5790 FAX
(877) 686-2867 toll free in the USA only
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